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277 entries posted so far; most recent was from josh weir on April 20, 2017 @ 9:27 am

  1. not a year goes by…think about you all the time.

    josh weir — April 20, 2017 @ 9:27 am

  2. with me today. miss you

    greg — April 20, 2017 @ 9:12 am

  3. Thinking of you today and ofter.. It still feels like I got robed of one of my greatest gifts… So thankful for the time we had together… I will see you again and on that day we will celebrate!!!!!!

    Dan McGranahan — April 20, 2016 @ 2:00 pm

  4. miss you dearly tim.

    josh weir — April 19, 2016 @ 10:18 pm

  5. am just nobody…but after read this, cant say anhtying more than just agree.Yes, people after broken up, if still using “i miss you”, its too creky…should say “i miss us”the old time, the old us…

    Bill — December 18, 2015 @ 5:12 am

  6. {thanks for your nice post|very good idea|thanks for your post)
    fashpiontrends http://www.zzeel.com/

    fashpiontrends — June 2, 2015 @ 11:32 pm

  7. dave jones and i talked today…life is different now, and man we wish you were here to walk some of it out with us. we love and miss you.

    josh weir — April 20, 2015 @ 6:20 pm

  8. Looking at these comments its hard to believe how long it has been since I was last here. The good thing is that I talk to you everyday in my head and hoping you are hearing me. I got a new job and love it. I will be home every night and weekend and I no longer have to work 2 jobs which is exciting. I will be with mom and dad next week as we spend time together. When you first passed I didn’t know how I would make it through the next day or month. Then the next year or 5 year and now going on 8 years. Somehow you have kept me focused when I could of easily slipped into depression….boy was I heading there when you first passed. Mom is having a hard time right now so show her your smile in her dreams on occasion. I love and miss you

    your sis — April 14, 2013 @ 11:04 am

  9. Happy Birthday Tim. I Love and Miss you so very much. Love you Mom

    Anonymous — March 5, 2013 @ 10:56 am

  10. Tim- miss you man.
    Today is not the happiest day for me.
    But thinking of how easily you could and did shed light on so many people including myself, seems to dissolve this uneasy feeling.

    Josh Feldman — April 20, 2012 @ 9:00 pm

  11. happy b day dad miss you:)

    gavin — March 5, 2012 @ 7:08 pm

  12. Man 40yrs…. I’m sure sad we are not celebrating this together but I look forward to celebrating with you again… The pain from you leaving has subsided but the effects are still all around in the lives of your family and friends. I hope Mia and I and others have honored you in caring for your family since your passing the best we can… Miss you… Love you…

    Dan — March 5, 2012 @ 1:17 pm

  13. Happy 40th Tim… I can only imagine what type of party would be thrown for you on this day. Sadly i can’t afford an airline ticket at this time to be with Gavin and Miki on your day, as this was Gavins request. The picture of us together is in our hallway, I see it daily, causing me to smile, to celebrate, and be grateful for the genuine friendship and memories that will forever linger…. I love you bro…

    greg — March 5, 2012 @ 8:44 am

  14. I turn 34 today. And I was thinking a lot about the people, places and things that have influenced me and molded me into who I am today. And Tim, you are on that list. I thank you my friend. Miss you man.

    Josh Feldman — February 3, 2012 @ 11:11 am

  15. still thinking about you tim, your life, your passion for the Lord and the legacy you left behind….

    sveiven — January 13, 2012 @ 12:44 am

  16. Had a great Christmas. Not a whole lot of presents but that’s the way I like it. Christmas for me has become a time to just be with family. Mom and dad drove out to have Christmas here with Jason and I in Arizona and I was trying to start a new Christmas tradition. I miss your laugh and your HUGS but your comforting voice forever runs through my mind. I love you TIM

    your sis — December 26, 2011 @ 1:09 am

  17. still think about you very often. miss you.

    josh weir — May 3, 2011 @ 9:08 pm

  18. Hey kiddo, I sure hope you and Michael are taking care of each other. My heart still aches and I miss him each and every day. I know he’s here at times helping me learn to live on my own, so tell him I said thanks. I’m so thankful that he introduced me to Beau, what a great guy. Know that you are thought of often, the boys still talk about the computers in your office.
    And give Michael a big hug from the boys and I…miss you both!

    "Aunt" Cynthia... — April 1, 2011 @ 2:38 pm

  19. Tim, we never met, but your life has shaped mine in a powerful way. I look forward to the day I can stand next to you and share the story. Thank you isn’t sufficient.

    Anonymous — March 15, 2011 @ 8:29 pm

  20. Its hard to believe that you will not be growing old with me even more so hard to believe that I am technically older than you. It doesn’t matter in my head I will remember how much I loved having you as my older brother and I am grateful for all MY memories that we shared. So many that no one knows about but that is like my secret treasure chest of memories that make me smile when I think about all those times. I miss you like crazy!! your sis

    your sis — March 5, 2011 @ 1:54 pm

  21. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SON. I MISS YOU SOON VERY MUCH. LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART: MOM

    MOM — March 5, 2011 @ 1:45 pm

  22. I saw you in my dreams last night, you simply smiled, you told me not to worry, you told me just to take my time.
    If you haven’t yet, I hope you can talk to your sis and tell her the same thing. Or maybe you already are…

    Anonymous — December 1, 2010 @ 6:04 pm

  23. Hey Tim,

    We need a fourth. Beach volleyball is slowing down at the beach since its cold but, you know us hard chargers, We’re still out there. We never forget you out here. You were one of the best. Let Miki know if Gavin ever wants to try to play volleyball to let me know. I would be more than happy to teach him. He can play with my boys too. The least I can do. You gave my son Tyler his first “skates board” as he called it when he was 5. He still has it, he’s 14 now. Thanks for talking to my brother and helping him. He is doing well now. Well, Take care of yourself. Talk to you soon.

    osk — December 1, 2010 @ 5:55 pm

  24. tim, i am back here in ventura and more then ever i miss you i know that your where god needs you to be but i also know the love you shared with all who knew you is so missed i saw gavin on thanksgiving and oh how beautiful he is i hope he knows just how much you love him your mom and dad are doing good but this time of year is hard on everyone i love you man and miss you like crazy

    Anonymous — November 27, 2010 @ 7:44 pm

  25. Sitting here thinking about how long it has been since I heard your voice. I am so glad that I can still plat it back in my head. Your mellow tone or your laugh….and lets not forget those awesome HUGS. I am going through a funky phase right now. Feeling like I am being told how to feel about loosing you and then feeling guilty for still feeling lost without you. I am trying to break free but it is hurting the parents. Jason and I wont be here much longer and it is just upsetting mom and dad but as gracious as they have always been they let go. Dad is sooo happy with his girlfriend Lorna and he’s so giddy when he talks about her and they are like high school kids when they are together “so in love” it soo cute. i figured out now that it is time for me to do what is best for my family and stop trying to fix everything and everyone and stop trying to figure out other people. I love and miss you.

    Your Sis — May 13, 2010 @ 4:13 am

  26. miss you

    joshua weir — April 20, 2010 @ 10:31 am

  27. Hey Tim. Sorry to hear the news so late. My son passed away March 31, 2009. Matty was 2.5. take care of my boy. R.I.P brother.

    Justin — March 24, 2010 @ 11:58 pm

  28. Hey Buddy…Happy Birthday to you…Happy Birthday to you…boy do I miss you…Happy birthday to you.

    What really sucks about this is even though you would of been 38 today you will be FOREVER young….Please look over mom and dad they are having a really hard day…..please comfort them in their thoughts today and if its even possible in your way…give them a BIG Tim hug!!

    I love you and miss you soooo much!

    Your Sis — March 5, 2010 @ 1:19 pm

  29. I have been doing a lot with the sibling grieving group that I started. Had an article in the paper a little over a week ago and talked about you trying to reach out to other siblings. the article really did some good. I have had a lot of siblings contact me and it feels good to be able to reach out to those who are struggling just like me. It really helps with my sadness to help others. I miss you so much…I miss your laugh, smile and most of all those HUGE hugs.

    your sis — October 26, 2009 @ 8:28 am

  30. hello my love… i never come back to this anymore.. probably shouldn’t have today…

    we love and miss you

    me — July 23, 2009 @ 8:02 pm

  31. My friend just arrived in heaven the other day. Hope you had a chance to meet. He was just a huge person in my life. I strive to just pay back some of it forward.
    You are missed. Praying for your family.

    Anon — May 11, 2009 @ 3:25 pm

  32. There is so much going on in my lije…I’d like to believe that you can hear me tell you about it in my head…God knows since everything happened all I have been doing is trying to figure out what you would tell me to do. I hate it when life starts to get this complicated cause I just want to walk away from everything because I know for the sake of my health that I can’t keep stressing about it. I am so sad that things had to turn out the way they did….all I know is God wouldn’t put me through more than I can handle BUT it would be easier if I could hear some good advice from you right about now. I miss you so much.

    your sis — April 25, 2009 @ 12:11 am

  33. miss you

    Anonymous — April 20, 2009 @ 11:59 am

  34. Hey Tim – was thinking about you yesterday, came across our prom picture and it just made me smile. My son is getting ready for prom and is also wearing a white tux. :-) I had to show him the pix – he’s like “sweet”. He thinks white is totally cool!! Keeping your family close to heart today.

    Dianne — April 20, 2009 @ 10:53 am

  35. thinking about you today my friend. miss you brother.

    joshua weir — April 20, 2009 @ 9:16 am

  36. Why can we no longer see Timmy’s Memorial vid on this website? Something so special and provided for such a short time. I miss you Timmy.

    Curious — April 16, 2009 @ 7:13 pm

  37. Word Tim. An update on your uncle Mike. He’s at Pismo (as I’m sure you are aware). Chillin, smiling, getting churned up by Sand railer tires. Oh, wait, you know all this and have seen him recently. Tell him I said hi. We miss you both.

    Tims Cousin — April 16, 2009 @ 7:10 pm

  38. Word Tim. An update on your uncle Mike. He’s at Pismo (as I’m sure you are aware). Chillin, smiling, getting churned up by Sand railer tires. Oh, wait, you know all this and have seen him recently. Tell him I said hi. We miss you both.

    Anonymous — April 16, 2009 @ 7:10 pm

  39. Tim, The court at Patagonia is dialed. I would call you once a week and get you to come play volleyball. You are everywhere bud. My boys now play at a lot of the same places we played at. Always see you there. Here’s a set, just like you like it. Great spike, your serve…

    Osk — March 19, 2009 @ 11:49 am

  40. Hey there…its me got some bad news today! Uncle Mike died don’t know yet how just went to lay down for a nap and never woke back up. Worried about dad he says he is still in shock…I know exactly how he is feeling. Getting this news make all the feelings just rush back and make everything feel so fresh. It makes my heart ache for dad cause I know how hard the loss is. I just pray for Aunt Cynthia that she find comfort. Take care of Uncle Mike.

    your sis — January 7, 2009 @ 11:44 pm

  41. hey Tim so a lot is going on. I have taken on the task of being a facilitator for The Compassionate Friends for Siblings. This group is for all siblings that have also lost a brother or sister. This has really help me deal with all the feelings I have been dealing with since you have been gone. Its nice to know that these feelings are normal and very real. I have been struggling since the realization is that these feelings will always exist since there is no replacing you….I will never have another brother. I also had a real hard time with my birthday this year….My last year before I am no longer your “younger” sister. The next 2 birthdays will really suck. GOSH!! I miss you…the laugh the support and being able to tell you good news like…my Dr.’s said that if I want that I am healthy enough to have a baby….one thing I will never be able to share with you. Tomorrow is the global candle lighting for all children or siblings that have died. at 7pm candles are lit all around the world for each time zone so that means candles will be lit for 24hrs straight…..We will be lightning one for you…..Luv U always

    your sis — December 13, 2008 @ 9:31 pm

  42. 10-18-08 Well buddy I was thinkn about u just now and the kids 4 kids toy run is comming up next month and that was the last run u & I did togather ! Life just sucks and when it did befor we talked about it but now I have to talk to you in my head or blog !
    I just wish u were here ! I know you know how much ive always ive loved you ! Gav & Miki are doing ok of course they miss you too ! I havnt seen Gav for a while mabe for halloween ! gona gon for now !

    dad — October 18, 2008 @ 2:20 pm

  43. I just found out about Tim’s death. A great sadness fills my heart. He was one of a kind and he will be missed. He was a classmate a teammate and a friend. May Jesus grant you peace and comfort my brother Tim.

    Terry Hall — September 26, 2008 @ 10:15 pm

  44. Hey there.. So many good films that have come out and no one to watch them with.. You would of loved the Dark Knight, probably the best comic/batman film ever.. I KNOW we would of seen this one together. And then there are some random films that we would of gone to, though we might of had to sneak out of the house to go see them and tell our wives it was a ministry thing:)

    Man, so much has changed.. Your death dealt a blow to many lives, and this past year i realize how much it has done to mine.. Hard to live without the friend/so-journer/companion you shared life with on a daily basis on differing levels..

    Wanted to say hello, and let you know i think of you often..

    g — July 29, 2008 @ 11:34 am

  45. Every now and again, I visit this site and read the remarks left here. It brings back just how much you impacted us all. Miss you tim……you live in our hearts and we will see you again one day…

    Brett Bendinelli — June 24, 2008 @ 11:06 pm

  46. been using tools, riding bikes, too many things to list that we did. miss you again and agian. each year i come back here…you stay in my thoughts very often. thanks holmes.

    joshua weir — April 24, 2008 @ 12:10 pm

  47. Tim-
    i miss you man.
    i’m sad that you never really knew the impact you had on my life. i always wanted to tell you, and i was working my way up to it.. but im sure you know now. your selfless acts never went unoticed by me- not even in my younger days. the opportunities and experiences you gave me will be forever etched in my mind. you did all that you did out of kindness and love- for that i thank you. i miss you dearly my friend. i’ll see you around the bend.

    Josh Feldman — April 22, 2008 @ 10:44 pm

  48. Though we need to weep your loss, you dwell in that safe place in our hearts, where no storm or night or pain can reach you.

    your love was like the dawn brightening over our lives, awakening beneath the dark a further adventure of color.

    the sound of your found for us a new music that brightened everything.

    whatever you enfolded in your gaze quickened in the joy of its being; you placed smiles like flowers on the alter of the heart. your mind always sparkled with wonder at things.

    though your days here were brief, your spirit was alive, awake, complete.

    we look toward each other no longer from the old distance of our names; now you dwell inside the rhythm of breath, as close to us as we are to ourselves.

    though we cannot see you with outward eyes, we know ours souls gaze is upon your face, smiling back at us from within everything to which we bring our best refinement.

    let us now look for you only in memory, where we would grow lonely without you. you should want us to find you in presence, besides us when beauty brightens, when kindness glows and music echoes eternal tones.

    when orchids brighten the earth, darkest winter has turned to spring; may this dark grief flower with hope in every heart that loves you.

    may you continue to inspire us: to enter each day with a generous heart. to serve the call of courage and love until we see your beautiful face again in that land where there is no more separation, where all tears will be wiped from our mind, and where we will never lose you again.

    your friend greg

    g — April 20, 2008 @ 1:44 pm

  49. Hey there,
    So living in a new world among a new people, Ive become the stranger seeking welcome. Thoughts of you today looking forward to time on the street dreaming of what was and what will be. So many things have changed wouldnt know where to start so i wont, just know your forever living in my memory, a safe and honest place.. Miss you dear friend…
    g

    g — February 16, 2008 @ 12:31 am

  50. A loving thought for you my love, robert. Sometimes our lives are blessed by people who are so special, that we are happy just because we know them… And this is how i feel about you.. I wish you were here to see yourself though my eye’s so this way you would see what a wonderful and beautiful person you was you are the love of my life my husband, the father of my children Robrert, Crystal, and Kaitlynn you were a brother, son, nephew cousin and our best friend. You are no longer here with us but we will always remember you! You will always live in our heart’s love alway’s your family we’ll alway’s love you today tomorrow and forever! Sun Rised September 19, 1973 Sun Set September 30, 2007 Still Loving you Robert Gaston

    Erika Gaston — January 23, 2008 @ 3:19 pm

  51. A loving thought for you my love, robert. Sometimes our lives are blessed by people who are so special, that we are happy just because we know them… And this is how i feel about you.. I wish you were here to see yourself though my eye’s so this way you would see what a wonderful and beautiful person you was you are the love of my life my husband, the father of my children Robrert, Crystal, and Kaitlynn you were a brother, son, nephew cousin and our best friend. You are no longer here with us but we will always remember you! You will always live in our heart’s love alway’s your family we’ll alway’s love you today tomorrow and forever!

    Erika Gaston — January 23, 2008 @ 3:16 pm

  52. WOW!don’t know where to start. Been really thinking of you lately…more than normal. Have so many things happening in life now days and I still get the urge to pick up that phone to call you and tell you all about it. I know I have told you in my head so you know what’s going on….Greg is right Gavin is really looking like you…he has this smile that is totally you.Can’t believe we are coming up on 3 years already of you being gone. Its weird cause you would think that as each year passes it would get easier but it doesn’t it just makes it more real and each year brings one a new set a feelings and realization of what has happened. Miss you so much!

    your sis — January 19, 2008 @ 9:30 pm

  53. if i can be honest i dont think i would be leaving if you were here. not to place any pressure on you:) but have processed this openly with someone i meet with regularly.. after your death gradual cracks emerged, never had the time to attend to them i guess, everything seems such a haze, a still fog that trying to navigate through… As your dad mentioned had our going away party the other night, good to see people hadnt seen in a while, their faces are as beautiful as ever… I agree with your dad, farewell parties are not fun, but necessary, the act of leaving is hard but important…. So, been talking with you recently at some really good movies.. Lars and the real girl, thought of you through it, could hear your laugh, i recently jumped around the theatre checked out some others, its not the same doing it alone, but just pretend ur with me. This Sunday night going to see “Waht WOuld Jesus Buy” looking forward to it, think its a must see this year, some subversive film making for all those that have shopalized Christmas….
    Man, saw Gavin the other night, man he looks like you, almost to hard to look at him.. Beautiful boy though.. He has this thing about his hair right now, pretty funny… Miki looks good, had a quick chance to chat, going to miss them both now that distance is even greater…
    Havent talked with those we use to hang with, sad really, dont know what to say about it, but its something i wake to everyday….
    Ill connect with you again (here) when i get to portland.. Ill see you on April 20th, ill be sitting where i normally do, on the curb… Man, miss you and think about you loads, more lately…. g

    g — December 7, 2007 @ 9:13 am

  54. Tim I been thinking about you ! things are really tough right now ! Went to see Gregg Michelle and the Kids off at there fairwell party it wasnt really a party ! Cause party’s are supose to be fun ! seeing them off wasnt fun ! Except when we talked about the funny things you and gregg did ! Had to cut Todds hours back today ! That wasnt fun either after over 20 years had to cut back his hours no sales ! God has a plan tim !! Well I got to go for now sure miss you !! Little buddy is doing great i know you get to watch Miki is doing a great job But its really hard for her but you know that Bye for now !

    Dad — December 5, 2007 @ 12:52 am

  55. Friend, the other week michele and i were sharing with ashtin and liam the stories of their birth. After sharing with ashtin the wonder of her day, i began to share with liam our experience with him. As I was sharing his entrance into the world, i got to the part of wheeling him out so all could see (not knowing what we were having), and it was there that time stood still. I looked at Liam, and told him, “do you know the first person daddy saw when he came out the doors?”, liam says “who?”, it was you tim, do you remember? i saw you, i said its a boy, and then we hugged one another… Liam looked at me and said “daddy why you crying?” I said, “Liam, i miss tim”. I then looked at michele and said, “I forgot about that until now”, she in turn joined me in that moment of memory and emotion……. I think of you often, and when i do i thank God for memory, what a gift….. These months have been hard, lonely, but im thankful. I wonder would it be different if you were here? I pray that God would let me spend some time with you as i lay sleeping….. chat soon my friend, and thank you for celebrating the birth of liam with me….. g

    g — November 3, 2006 @ 10:38 am

  56. why do i find myself here? i haven’t dared look at this place for months and yet lately you tug at me… you do in so many ways. My eyes hurt honey…. and my heart aches… the answers i seek can not be given and the pain i feel can not be healed…. i keep falling on my face. I have walls built up so thick, I do not even know how to get in any more.
    The problem with you showing me what ‘love’ truly is…. is that i KNOW what i am missing. …. and that is a hard thing to live with… or should i say “without”.
    so much more to say, but my walls prevent it from coming out….
    I love you…..

    me — October 15, 2006 @ 8:07 am

  57. i miss you tim. you mentored me in so much. you opened doors for me that I walk through now. thank you. you boggled my mind when you did so much, with such fluid grace & style & confidence. you set the bar high.
    such a void you have left.
    i look forward to seeing your face again one day and sharing the journey.

    brent — October 2, 2006 @ 9:57 am

  58. Keeping you and your family in my prayers….now and always.

    Dianne — September 27, 2006 @ 6:18 pm

  59. You know what i just wrote… and you know why i deleted it… I love you more than…………………

    We have had you at the forefront of our minds… it can not be escaped…

    i am glad for that…..

    Thank you for the time that you gave me… and the person that you helped form me to be… i know that i fail you sometimes… but i strive to make you proud… i will fall/fail… but i will get up again and it will take me longer to fall again…

    I owe that to you… my love…….

    miki garrety — August 7, 2006 @ 1:39 am

  60. I always looked up to Tim as a mentor and strong man of God. When I was going through tough times and unsure of things Tim would talk with me and other young men about life. I really miss him, God bless him and his family,

    Brett Bendinelli — August 6, 2006 @ 5:50 pm

  61. if tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I would walk right up to heaven and bring you back again. No farewell words were spoken no time to say “Goodbye” you were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. My heart still aches with sadness and secret tears still flow, what it meant to love you no one can ever know. But now I know you want me to mourn for you no more, to remember all the happy times, life still has much in store. Since you’ll never be forgotten, I pledge to you today– A hollowed place within my heart is where you’ll always stay. I Love You my Son.

    mom — July 21, 2006 @ 2:18 pm

  62. tim its been so long since i have been here i had to stop comming so i could let it all go……you were larger then life its self when you were here it seems and for me you are playing such a large part in my life because of your death…….. you have insired a community, loved your family more the possible, and in death led so many to god……..i question my faith over and over yo got the ball rolling for me but now i dont know where to go …………a large hole to hide in would be nice on most days ………..give me the next clue help me to understand it all……you are still loved and cherished and your spirit will live on in those you touched with your love and guidance……….tears still come so easy when i’m here tell my mom i miss her too everyday without fail your both there in my mind for one reason or another i just wished i got what your both trying to say……so i will say i love and miss you both my heart and spirit are still heavy with the presents you brought to me

    Anonymous — July 8, 2006 @ 4:29 am

  63. just wanted to say i really miss you and i could really need some tim advice!

    cynthia — June 14, 2006 @ 4:41 pm

  64. Well Tim, I never really got to know you extremely well.However…. I have spent the last 3 days with Miki and I have to just say… THANK YOU. Thank you for caring for her, nurturing her, protecting her, laughing with her , and loving her to pieces. She has inspried me to be so much more. You were truely an amazing person and even though I didnt know you that well to see all that then…. I see it now in her. Thank you Tim.

    Tenaya — May 27, 2006 @ 5:40 pm

  65. Well, its been a long time since I have talked to you on here but its usually cause Im talking to you in my head, out loud or on my own blog sight….but for some reason I wan to talk to you here tonight. I went to the accident sight today…I planted one of those pigmy palms that you begged me to buy you that one year for your birthday. I still remeber that cause like everything you were so passionate about wanting that type of palm and it took a long time before the palm died. I was surprised it lasted as long as it did. That was one of my favorite things about our relationship is that no matter how silly an idea was we would still eencourage each other and let each other experience. I will never forget all the morals you help instill in me and I will never forget all the time you spent with me just hangin out. I miss you sooo much.

    your sis — April 20, 2006 @ 11:50 pm

  66. you are missed greatly, words will not express…greif is bubbling up once again in our community, we will grow and change and heal and someday see you again…
    but until then the ache in our hearts will say…you are missed…

    vera — April 20, 2006 @ 6:44 pm

  67. I have been thinking a lot about the first time I met you and Miki…on Easter Sunday a few years ago. You, Miki, Frank, Douglas and so many of your church family were at the beach feeding the homeless and enjoying each other’s presence. I immediately felt welcomed and enjoyed the warmth and the love that surrounded that day.

    The drum circle really caught my eye and..my ears and I bought my own djembe soon after that day. But the strongest memory of that day was feeling so much a part of my new family and thinking how very grateful I was to have you all in my life.

    None of that has changed, yes we’ve had a rough year, many challenges and sorrows but a lot of joys as well and I’m thankful for each of them…

    You’ll always be with us because you touched us all so deeply…and I’ll be celebrating that today when I think of the french fries in the turkey fryer and the sound of the drums…

    with love….

    Aunt Cynthia

    Aunt Cynthia — April 20, 2006 @ 1:50 pm

  68. Feeling goodbye again. Is it OK for your absence to rival your presence?

    michel — April 20, 2006 @ 1:10 pm

  69. i see you everyday on my computer its so hard to believe i will never get to talk to you until i get to heaven. in my mind we are just apart, one of those times we just haven’t seen each other. i will always miss you.

    cynthia — April 20, 2006 @ 9:10 am

  70. so missed my friend.

    2-stix — April 20, 2006 @ 8:33 am

  71. It’s been a long year. Been stretched, pulled, torn down, built up, but it’s been a long year.

    Lippert — April 20, 2006 @ 8:11 am

  72. As it comes up on a year I still find myself thinking about you and missing you daily. I love You Man. Wish you were here to talk to.

    cory — April 11, 2006 @ 12:24 pm

  73. To all of Tims friends and family-

    My husband and I knew Tim through business and he became a friend, I think of him often and I am reminded to appreciate every moment. Reading how much of an impact he had on so many people makes me want to be a better person. God bless you Miki & Gavin

    Heather — April 6, 2006 @ 3:51 pm

  74. life is always interesting without you…

    me — March 20, 2006 @ 11:52 am

  75. TIM ON MIND AS LIFE GOES ON WITHOUT YOU BUT AS I WOULD EXPECT YOUR WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU SHARED SO PERFECTLY IN YOUR LIFE IS STILL BEING PASSED ON YOU WERE AND ALWAYS WILL BE LOVED YOUR SON IS GOING INTO A GREAT SPIRIT TOO

    Anonymous — March 12, 2006 @ 12:24 pm

  76. You’ve been heavy on my mind and heart lately…Happy Birthday Friend!

    Tim's Friend — March 6, 2006 @ 5:09 pm

  77. Happy Birthday Tim!!

    Dianne — March 6, 2006 @ 11:42 am

  78. 1990 Knoll Drive’s empty warehouse in October 1996…your wedding…hume lake…roger t…the Walnut apartment…SSV green logo…Maxwell study Bible… Thursdays … the old green trooper… the 9/11 sticker in the back window… vaulted ceilings … helping me understand the word ‘perspective’ from his… discussing business versus ministry …468 …debtfree …Crown …Rush Limbaugh … me refusing to EVER surf … dinosaurs
    tears … Psalms 1:1-3

    I love you deeply

    jeff — March 5, 2006 @ 8:41 pm

  79. Happy Birthday my love… so much to say… you allready know my heart…. i gave that to you a long time ago…

    me — March 5, 2006 @ 4:39 am

  80. send some for my ministry

    p danaiah/daniel — February 22, 2006 @ 7:09 pm

  81. i can not find the words to express the loss i feel because you are gone…. there is a whole in my heart that can not be filled… there is an emptiness that consumes me…

    me — February 16, 2006 @ 4:18 pm

  82. just finding myself reading old emails and posts, trying to get all of you i can…miss you buddy–so much. having a hard one today thinking about you.

    jared — February 13, 2006 @ 1:26 pm

  83. Thinking about you Tim. It’s so weird how sometimes I think I see you. And that should be normal, to see you, I mean. We’re still limping along…

    michel — February 6, 2006 @ 9:41 pm

  84. I still think about you and your family and keep them all in my prayers. I saw your mom, dad & Todd in August at the shop!! It was great to visit with them and catch up. The shop sure has changed so much since the days when I worked there. I remember when your mom was training me and she said just follow me around today. You being the funny guy that you are duct taped us together!! I had the best years working there!!

    Love to you and your family ~ Dianne :-)

    Dianne — February 1, 2006 @ 10:20 pm

  85. Gosh I miss You !! I was looking at your picture today and asking ! Tim where are you ! I realy know
    where you are so ask the big Guy to help Me get through this stuff !! Tell Mom ( GrandMa ) I said hi !

    Dad ! — January 22, 2006 @ 4:39 pm

  86. Sitting in Starbucks working and as my mind drifts and I head to this site to read the latest posts. I was contemplating weather or not to share thoughts just then my I pod starts to play “Sorrow” and I experience this felling of a two way street of communication. Is God speaking to me on your behalf….. I hope so, I know you would have loved to see God speak thru Bad Religion so it seems to make sense. The song is gone now and back to my bad choice in music “White Crossâ€? some things never change.. I miss you Tim in many ways.…. Still struggling to go on without you.. Thanks for everything….

    Dan McGranahan — January 16, 2006 @ 10:51 pm

  87. I didn’t know Tim that well at all, but I definitely remember him from around the high school grounds… I am sorry for your loss. He does live on through your memories, and that special gift life… your child.

    Tim Halm — January 14, 2006 @ 12:28 pm

  88. missing you….

    anonymous — January 7, 2006 @ 11:15 pm

  89. Well, I made it through the holidays…Gavin was the life of the party. He got a Video/microphone unit that lets him see himself on TV as he sings. He was so goofy. He had everyone laughing. We also had moms great turkey dinner and Gavin took your place at the head of the table. You were missed….mom,dad and I went to the accident site and left some stuff for you….it was the act of leaving something for you that made things complete…or as complete as possible under these circumstances. Then on Christnas day I went with mom and mike to Pat & tammy’s and that was nice….then Jason and i went and spent the last day down with our best friends in Santa Monica and celebrated our christmas with them. Overall I really enjoyed myself.

    Paula — December 29, 2005 @ 12:15 am

  90. Wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and give you an update on the new site if you wanted to reach Gavin and i. You can get to us at: mikingavin.com Much easier than that word press address thing i know. Thank you to the Dan’s in my life :) Gavin and i love you all dearly and appreciate all the love and support that we get on a daily basis. Thank you again and enjoy the rest of your holiday!

    miki n gavin

    miki — December 25, 2005 @ 7:17 pm

  91. Miki,

    I just found out about Tim, and I have some thoughts to share…

    I’m what, I consider Frank and Lynne’s best friend from Vegas – I grew up with them both.

    I remember Tim best as a child, always searching, and seeking. I remember playing with him at Pismo and in the backyard in Ventura, teaching… I remember time at Dad’s in LA, and all of the brothers… (Uncles), and with his sister Paula. I remember so much of little Tim.

    He was a wonderful child, full of life and always questioning, always wanting to know, always learning…

    Frank was so happy and proud when he was talking about Tim…

    I AM PROFOUNDLY sorry for your loss!

    Tim has apparently touched a lot of lives, and for that, I’m truly impressed and proud that I knew him.

    The world is now a lesser place.

    John

    John Barrett, Las Vegas — December 25, 2005 @ 2:00 am

  92. grumbling….I meant the two posts BELOW this one

    okay yeah and I’m the techie in the family

    btw..Tim, I could really use your help in a few months…I’m starting on the dissertation research I shared with you…the use of digital storyteling as reflective practice…….it will be difficult to write without you here to discuss my ideas…but you were a large part of my inspiration…you and Mary and Gary’s wedding in Washington that year, that hooked me on the vital importance of storytelling…I mean after all …the Bible is a collection of stories…

    I’ll be thinking of you ..as usual…and praying for your guidance and ooh I wish ..your skills…but…I’m learning on my own now…..which you always said, was the best way to learn technology…

    ~smiling at the memories

    Aunt Cynthia — December 24, 2005 @ 5:52 am

  93. The above post was from me…*laugh*

    getting old sucks ….but it sure makes one laugh at their little mishaps..

    oops Aunt Cynthia — December 24, 2005 @ 5:48 am

  94. I have so many memories of our last Christmas in Kansas City….and how happy Tim was with his family, although not particularly enjoying the midwest cold..hmm seems none of you was too thrilled with that part…:) Gavin’s excitement at seeing the horses with glittered hooves, that he thought were Spirit….Finding a Starbucks when Tim was so ready for a ‘real’ cup of coffee….he’s a bit like his Uncle Mike in that respect….and I’m sure his Dad.

    We are so very thankful that circumstances brought us all together last year and we treasure those memories…holding them so very close.

    Merry Christmas…

    Christmas Memories — December 24, 2005 @ 5:47 am

  95. I wanted to let you know that Dan found me a place to journal…. It seems not soon enough… I know that you all love and want to protect “Tim’s” wife…. but this is not the place to do it… This is supposed to be a place of remembrance and reflection… love and security… a safe place for people to go to talk to Tim or God… how can anyone feel safe if you are all trying to protect “me”… I am leaving this site, not just for me… but for everyone else as well…. As Tim’s wife, I am asking that this site remain pure for the rest of the people that come here… I pray that you find what you need from this site… i pray that you find security and safety… no shame… only love and support from those who lovedTim as I have loved him… who were lucky enough to have been blessed with “time”…
    if anyone wants to find me, i am at: mikingavin.wordpress.com thank you for your love and support

    miki — December 20, 2005 @ 10:58 pm

  96. I want to encourage you keep writing wherever it is. I check this site often as many other do. Thanks for being to honest and “raw.” We love you Miki

    crazysox — December 19, 2005 @ 5:15 pm

  97. As an outsider to the situation and knowing all directly involved, it is my opinion that someone has used this site as an outlet for her own personal gain and purpose. In my opinion that is not what this site was intended for. This site is here for the thoughts and memories of Tim. Not a place for one to come and place blame. Knowing Miki as I do this site is (was) a place she could come and in her way and in her time talk to us all and let us know where she was in the daily life of dealing with her loss as Tim’s wife. Miki’s has had to deal with things in such a different way. Being that Tim chose her to be his wife and together they created one of the greatest gifts a child. Unlike family you have no choice you have to deal with what you are given. Saying that I would like to say that Miki is a wonderful person and as each one of us are different and we react and morn differently all and I mean all must let Miki deal in HER own way and not push your ideas on dealing on her. Space and time are sometimes all a person needs. It is selfish of us to think we know what she needs. I will leave in saying this. Listen don’t just hear what Miki is saying, be it in this forum or in person. Love you Miki!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Anonymous — December 19, 2005 @ 1:15 pm

  98. miki,
    i dont know what has happend but whatever it is and whom ever it was i hope they are ashamed……i know i have been attached to this site checking in a few times a week and sometimes a day……..though here its like a small window into the lives of the people that have lost the most …..lossing tim was quite a blow for alot of people and its amazing to see and hear just how many lives he touched without touching most at all by human contact…….this link to you gavin paula and frank is huge……if nothing else make it known that you are okay……….i know tim still takes good care of ya’ll but it’s still nice to hear……this site is a sounding stone for alot of folks i know for me i keep hoping tim is talking to my mom for me since i can’t……..but yet coming here and talking to him once in awhile make the pain ease for just a little while…….in our family deathhas come far to offen and i don’t know why but i have not been able to speak to those who have gone accept timmy…….maybe its our age…..maybe its the forum……or maybe he is still inspiring something good to come from a heethen like me but what ever it is i hope we somehow somewhere we can talk again…..funny as it’s not we would go years without speaking see eachother at a family thing of some kind and it was like yesterday since we had last spoke i guess that was tim’s way he was always sweet to me and i love him for that…..i’m not sure if you remember at gary and mary’s wedding it was my first trip without peyton and he gave me gav to hold so i would feel more normal these are the things that i remember and i have to laugh…..i found a pic from when tim and i had youth on our side and it was from the summer my anchle got broken and i sat and laughed to myself at our stupidity god we had some good times at monks…..lol my tears still flow to easy…..and the memories are still to good to say goodbye again so i hope fixing the problem can be an opption
    i love you guys …….jenn

    jenn — December 17, 2005 @ 11:48 am

  99. This is a hard entry to start. Harder than most.. What i love most about this website is that i can talk to everyone… and not have to actually “talk” to anyone… this format fits the way that i am wired perfectly. The people i love can check in on me any time, know where i stand at any given moment and…. well, i know this because of our e-mails and phone calls and hugs on sundays…. and i don’t have to explain anything! you allready know :( …. there is a battle going on… there is a stronghold on my heart…. i no longer feel “safe” to write here… :(… it saddens me more than you could know… this was my link link to Tim’s “computerdom”, his journaling…. so much of him that i never understood…. i do now…:(…. and have embraced it…. however it is obvious that i can not do it here…. Dan is helping me find a new site… maybe it can be linked from here… maybe not…. i feel like i am loosing him all over again.. :(:( ….. maybe it is just time to put this to rest as well… i will let you know when the new site is up..

    miki — December 16, 2005 @ 7:35 am

  100. Life does not get any easier without you… it would be so nice to come home and just relax in your presence… or pick up the phone to ask you a question, be it trivial or otherwise… I am lucky enough to have learned a few things from you… so i think i know what you would say or what you would do… i am also blessed in the people that we have surrounded ourselves with… i can go to them with anything… they will point me in the right direction i’m sure… i know that it is my human nature talking, but… i still want “you” … i need to hear your voice sometimes… i could ask the question why? but what good would that do me? …. i don’t need to know the reason why…. my faith has grown stronger… God has taken care of us and i know that He has not forsaken me…. i just :( …. miss my husband…. i miss your strength… and i miss your comfort…. mostly just you….

    miki — December 14, 2005 @ 10:18 pm

  101. Well…Im back and work and so happy to be. It keeps my mind off all the sad things in life like you being gone and Jason on the road. It makes me feel like I have a purpose. Knowing I go into work everyday to serve those that are sick. You know I have had people ask me how much $$ would I take to leave this job and full heartedly I can say..nothing…cause I have learned that you can make all the money in the world but hating your job or not getting along with those you work with is just not worth it. well, my eye is progressing..I can drive now …but only during the day…im bummed cause i cant makr IV’s at work for awhile. I also had to go buy some really cute glasses since I will be without contacts for awhile. Anywas I miss you but you knew that. Also we put up a tree this year…our first in the 10 years jason and i have been together.

    your sis — December 14, 2005 @ 10:13 pm

  102. Home depot without you… not the same… but again our dear friends come to the rescue… our tree is perfect…and our lights are up… that is about all i can manage… i started towards our decorations and … well.. lets just say that they are all still there.. besides the tree looks very pottery barn-ish with only white lights on it :) right??? If i say that enough, someone will agree with me, i hope. If not, i can pretend i was going for simple elegance or something like that… :):) i can hear you laughing at me and it is not that funny… i like having only white lights…… and if you were here … you would be laughing, then hug me, and say “whatever you want to tell yourself honey, now get me the rest of the stuff :))”….. (too many tears)……….

    miki — December 13, 2005 @ 12:27 am

  103. today i had an experience that made me realize something….you and miki have done a awesome job with raising Gavin. I had the experence of spending 36hrs with a child that has no discipline and no respect for its parents and others.I thought at first I was being a biest proud auntie but as time went on I learned that by appling things I learned from how you you have been with gavin and the child would respond in a positive manner. Anyways I just wanted you to know that you were a great with gavin and miki is great with him too especially now…i miss you

    your sis — December 10, 2005 @ 8:15 pm

  104. tim~~~oh where do i start…why is my pain soooo deep. Cause i am walking around with 1 fumctioning eye?cause…Jason is gone for so long while I try to work through my recovery on my own??? that I am slowly figuring out the root of my pain?? Maybe its all of it maybe I wasn’t taking the high road like I thought. I guess I still have a lot of work ahead of me…I can’t believe we came from the same great parents….but we turned out sooo opposite. (besides gender). I realized that even though I pour out my heart as much as possible on here it never gets empty because my deepest feelings are so hard to put into words. You were so damn good at putting things into words and staying soo calm about it even if you were sooo pissed. But as you and I and everyone has always agreed…I am my fathers daughter but I am so damn proud of that…cause there were so many times you called on that person to staighten out people at the frontier airlines cause they wouldn’t switch Mikis ticket….I am so proud that you would call on me to do every priceline hotel for you….I know how much it meant cause you told me and why is it that I would get so excited that I was needed by my own brother….that I can’t figure out…In looking back I realized that in my own weird ways I always wanted acceptance from you….even though I had it the hole time. That’s why you were always so eager to tell people that I was your sister. I know that you and I were so different together and alot of peolpe didnt see how close we were. Hey we didn’t hang out all the time but at least we called each other when something was bothering us or that we knew one of us could handle a task. Thats one thing I loved about our relationship.We were able to call and be “raw “with each other. Some how I have lost that ability to be “raw” with anyone these days….in fear they don’t understand? or fear of …what? I know that my grief is soo different than moms-dads and especially miki’s. Even though we hurt in some many differnt ways the bottom line it HURTS. How hard it is to not be angry….or how hard it is to not just run away from every situation especially the holidays….they SUCK….but like you always said the holdiays are not about ourselves…..and they are sure not about you not being there…they are suppose to be about being thankful and sharing and caring for others with presents or not. Being thankful for what we do have…Health…eachother….God….and others who love us no matter what. Whay is it so hard to get to that point? I am so sadden cause this is where I should be and thinking but today I was in a bad place in my life and all I wanted to do was Runnnn from the Christmas visit…stay where I feel like I can br more guarded….thats not healthy I know but it feels easy. All I can do is pray that I can find my way back to some acceptance with myself and with you not hear.

    your sis — December 10, 2005 @ 12:11 am

  105. I found my driftwood ~ right where I left it, with my Christmas ornaments. I don’t know why but it was very important for me to have it. I thought I got rid of it last Christmas. Silly as it may seem but you gave me that piece of driftwood one night when we were hanging out at the beach in Ventura after one of the races I think. I have kept it ever since and it has become so important for me to have. My boys ask me why I have it and I simply reply ~ My friend Tim gave it to me. When Larry found it the other night I was just about in tears because it was not gone!!!
    Thanks for being such a good friend for so many years!! Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

    Dianne — December 7, 2005 @ 12:29 pm

  106. Going home… what does that mean?… leaving behind people that i have grown to love so deeply…. people that have allowed me to live along side them in a time when not only did i need them… but they needed me…. the extra set of hands to help around the house, ears to listen and arms when hugs were needed…. both happy and sad ones.. so much going on here… how easy it would be to miss that flight and pretend that i am needed here more….just as i am writing the kids pour into the room as they rush off to school…. apparently i am needed to them :) … tears flow on both sides as we plot our scheme to keep me here … all of us knowing the true outcome of it all… in the forefront of my mind i see a plane carrying me accross the world to an uncertainty that i have been trying desperately to avoid… that empty house just waiting for us…. saddness behind me and saddness in front of me… which way do i go? Luckily God has placed people in our lives that will be praying for us.. the prayers that get me through these exact moments… i have dealt with one holiday… the only way i knew how… surrounded by people who loved me… allowing me to serve those around me and helping gavin and i to not be the focus of that day… but the people around us as it should have been… i do not know how to deal with the next holiday.. this one is harder… i can not escape as easily… how do i honor my husband, my family, his, everyone else and Our Lord at the same time when i can barely handle…. a normal day?… how do i aproach the christmas decorations that we bought our first year together… we have used the same ones every year… how do i get the home depot tree without his “home depotness”? he had a technique… a special way about picking out a tree… hanging lights?… i am sure that i will bust out my power tools and “suck it up” one day to do it… i am just not sure if there is enough kleenex left?…. Gavin will help me i’m sure… maybe we will do something different… maybe we will get daddy’s stuff out… maybe i can’t cry when gavin is around so i better do it when he is awake and not 3 in the morning like everything else…. maybe we will go to…. africa???? i don’t know it sounded good a minute a go.. besides gavin likes animals…:)….. Europe was amazing and it will be missed.. i will be coming back soon! i hope :))

    miki — December 7, 2005 @ 12:30 am

  107. I wrote this so many times yesterday… it feels like i have allready told you and it will be wierd to try and capture it again, i am sure… i felt like i was almost done and then i must have struck a wrong button or..?.. i don’t know, i finally decided to give it until today and then start over… the funny thing is …. the material was lighthearted and exciting and i new that if you had been here you would have been so proud… picked me and given the biggest hug and kiss for facing my fears ang conquering a new challenge… which to most is a daily chore, but to me at the time seemed so daunting… why did circumstances make me wait until today?… because i know that there are other areas in my life where i am struggling… Why can i not face them like yesterday… head on and without conflict… well, for one, i had a dear friend along side of me the whole way pushing me to my limits..knowing my fears, knowing my weaknesses and yet making me rise to the occassion… she would not back down :) and i will love her forever for that… because she is giving me strength of character in another way… she “forces ” me to do things that scare me to death… i mean i was welling up in tears before we started our journey, i swear… just the thought of what was to come…. during our journey she talked to me the whole time, stayed next to me, knowing that i could “break” at any moment… not only did i not break but at the end i had done something (so minor) yet so huge! her and i the only ones who cared of course as we watched the rest of the world pass us by with such speed… i felt so great.. it was wonderful.. we ended up at a new friends house for the rest of the afternoon… i know that you would have enjoyed them… a flat full of people and kids… a bible study on grace, which was not based on the morning church service, but just happened to be the same chapter and verses that had been previously picked out…. maybe God was trying to say something to us… earlier that day i had asked Laina “why does the pastor insist on directing his sermons toward me all the time?” she just smiled and revealed that she had picked out the same thing to talk about later so maybe he was ta;king to all of us… i only felt slightly better :) … anyway i spent the rest of the day enjoying the company of new friends… by the end of the night we were all tired and ready for the next half of the journey… going home.. the journey begins again… my friend at my side, my new friends praying for me as they know how gripped with fear i am… and i conquer my fear again… with grace and love because i have surrounded myself withpeople who push me to better myself… they do not care that i do not want to do something, they do not care that it might make me uncomforatable… as a matter of fact they pray that it will.. for doing so adds character and faith and helps you ask for help? which is so funny because that is the hardest thing to do… i LOVE the people around me and i will strive to do the same for those whom i love… Tim life would be easier if you were here… thank you for allowing me to see that i am worth learning things too…. I am so sorry for putting so much pressure on you for so much… again i am so glad that God is giving you a rest…. of all people who deserved one.. you did… Gavin misses you so much… mostly when he is in trouble :) i have to remind him.. daddy and mommy punish the same way right? or not? “daddy took me out to have talks” :) so then would you like to hear mommys words or do you have another idea? “i will hear you mommy… but i still miss daddy”… me too buddy… That is how it goes usually, however we are out with the grafs and there are alot of people here.. He told the boys the other day that he would like his “own space please”… i think we created a monster :) i can’t even get mad at that one… he needs space, me too.. besides we are used too a big house for the 2 of us… with barely any noise.. He is so cute right now..fast asleep… we went to a concentration camp the other day… Laina tryin to explain to the boys what it is and everything… we pass by the guard tower and go inside to the meuseum..your son says “shhhhh you will wake up the guards” :) i swear he is so cute. you think they get it… but they can not comprehend then and now… being here is amazing… it truly is… meeting these new people… hearing you being described to them… you are still a testimony even now, all the way over here… i am honored to have been your wife….

    miki — December 5, 2005 @ 12:31 am

  108. Hard to be on here today.. fighting for the right words… for the right feelings…. sometimes it is harder to not have you “really” here to bounce things off of. I have you in my head. I hear you say what i know you want me to do and say. I know your true thoughts… i fight my own faults every day honey… God has given us so many strengths… he has also given us so many weaknesses… why do they seem to be the same things?… i am struggling to come up for air…. tell me what to do?… you have marked in your bible 2 Peter 1:5-9….it is all about progression of character… adding to your faith: goodness and knowledge, self control, perseverence, godliness, brotherly kindness and love…. i feel like through all of this i can feel your guidance… your words and your unwaivering patience wispering in my ears and/or speaking oh so clearly in my head… i have made great strides in what i no my character needs and yet i no that i have completely failed in others…. oh how i wish that you were here to pick me up again and give me the boost i need to carry on. There are those around me who seem to think that i have this great strength… i can only assume comes from God and you because i have never felt less in control or strong in my life… My struggle and prayer must then be this… God give me the strength of character to be able to hold my head high in the choices that i make for my family… and give me the strength of character to forgive when it is not my place to judge…. God i spend most of my days begging for your forgiveness and i have the hardest time when it comes to the forgiveness of others… the is one of my faults and i am in desperate need of help in this area.. I pray that you will take this burden from me and allow my forgiveness to flow freely…

    miki — December 3, 2005 @ 11:06 am

  109. Good Job your sis got through surgery Ok ! Guess you talked to the Big Guy ! Hope you like the christmass tree with lights !! Cool hun ! Christiaan
    picked out the tree & lights sure miss not hav’n Gav here for his birthday ! But Miki & him are hav’n fun so it’s Ok ! I love you but you knew that !~! seeeezzz ya later !!

    Dad ! — December 2, 2005 @ 11:12 pm

  110. I walked around yesterday in a haze but I was happy because it was Gavin’s b-day but bummed cause I have no way to talk to him….I misss him. He has so much character…it just oooozes out of him. I can see he is going to be so much like you and miki ….and so stuburn..(thats miki). HAPPY B_day buddy..miki give him a great BIG hug for me. Wish me luck on my surgery.

    your sis — December 1, 2005 @ 10:37 am

  111. Happy Birthday Gavin….from some snow covered folks in Iowa….we miss you and your Mommy very much but know you are having a wonderful experience that you will carry with you forever.

    Celebrate and hug each other….I’m sure Tim is watching and celebrating with you both…

    Aunt Cynthia and Uncle Mike — December 1, 2005 @ 10:07 am

  112. So much time spent thinking about the gift you were to sooo many……then back to the “How is it better without Tim here?”

    I just don’t see how to get past this…the grief and sadness…..maybe it’s because we really don’t know how to grieve and embrace our sorrow…instead it gets pushed to the side so we don’t make people too uncomfortable….but is that right? Is it fair to us to hide who we truly are and how we truly are living/feeling at this very moment?

    So many thoughts spinning and swirling and the complete inability to get a grasp on any of them! Praying for God to give some clarity

    broken — December 1, 2005 @ 10:02 am

  113. today is Gav’s birthday he & miki are in germany
    I went by the wreck site lit a candle for ya vanilla
    your favorite ! Sure miss you . Talk to the big guy poo is having surgery on her eye ! Seems like our family don’t get no breaks !! Thats Ok !! We’ll all
    get them when we get up there with You & Grandma

    dad — November 30, 2005 @ 11:17 pm

  114. Back again… i try to avoid this site to allow everyone else to feel…vent…express.. but i cann not get away.. i miss you my love.. in Amsterdam without you. What a concept. doing anything without you is an interesting concept. This past week has been eye opening for me in so many ways… first of all your son has been so amazing. The day of our flight over, he could not have been any better. A lady on the plane even commented on how well behaved he was. I could not have been more proud of your son really… we sat in our seats exchanging head phones to see who had the better music station on :) he played with his toys, slept….looked like you…. i think i am in love with europe. It is freezing and raining. You walk or ride your bike everywhere. Little cars, crabby people, trams down the middle of the road, street signs that you cannot read, languages i do ot understand… i love every second of it… i spent one whole day, my goal to get just one crabby looking person to smile back at me :) just one… i got 2 people to smile… my day was complete. Your son hates the weather… he thinks that his face is going to burn off. He through a massive tantrum.. my favorite.. out in public.. i kept walking with Laina and Branson… he just stood there, so angry and stubborn (i wonder where he gets that from?) we got about a block away.. he looked like that kid from ” a christmas story” all bundled up.. cold and red.. and pissed off.. he finally realized that he was not going to win. so he starts crying and running as fast as his cold little legs will carry him. “mommy don’t leave me!”. Laina and i are laughing. Her because it is funny and me to keep from wanting to scream…. The rest of the day followed suit. He is allowed one meltdown day a year right?.. Laina has been taking or trying to take me around as much as possible. Meet as many people as poosible. Here are the questions: What do you do? What are you passionate about? What kind of music do you like? What kind of anything really do YOU like?… all of my answers seem to start out with well Tim liked or likes this or Gavin likes this this… I really am finding out that i have to find out what it is that MIKI really likes or wants to do… what is that all about? I am so used to just “being” i don’t even know what i like? … that is so sad… I think i was or you were just lucky that i did not care really about alot of things and the things that i did care about… we were lucky enough to be able to agree on, or come together on… or i was lucky enough to have been given 11 years with …YOU… trying to describe you to these people here.. people that have never met you.. i only have 2 pictures with me of you… which cannot capture you either… how do you, in 10 minutes or so describe a man who means the whole world to you?… how do you capture the essecence of a man in a picture? in a sentence? it is like trying to take a picture of Amsterdam and say can you feel the air? Hear the people? The smells? One picture does not a movie make.. right honey? :) …. We went to this pub down the street last night.. filled with cigar smoke, jazz music, crazy looking people… me, phil, laina, this guy from france, his wife from scotland, and a friend from ausrtalia/lebanon. The bar tender is the graf’s neighbor (his uncle just passed away) the funeral is today actually. The grafs have been forming community since they got here and i swear this guy will come to the Lord. The nieghbor is a pastor and the bar tender is actually the pastors daughters boyfriend if you can follow that? anyway, laina introduces him to me and fills him in on us and if he wants to talk to me and everything… God is totally working in this place… we can feel it… our next encounter is with the jazz singers wife. Apparently they met on a tv talk show, both expert on the female orgasm! oh yeah.. they are still together and then she chose to give us there sex academy website in case we needed it later. :) So maybe God is there … but so is satan and is little helpers :) My point being is that God was there…. I love you and i miss you… Happy Birthday to your boy today.. 4 years old. He prays every night at dinner whether someone else prays or not… and he almost always wishes you were here…

    we love you daddy

    miki — November 30, 2005 @ 4:13 am

  115. Just to have a conversation with you would free me up. Just to sit in a movie with you would allow the stress to be like water. I am working so hard at trying to figure it all out Im losing a sense of realism, am I missing it, whatever “it” might be.. It sounds so selfish but I just need u here to help me process.. I miss that… Watch the video, hear ur voice, listen to u laugh, it ends and Im thankful for so much and yet feels like it was all so short… Some one made the comment today that you would be pissed if I wasnt being and following through with whom I am to be. It caught me off guard, made me think if that would be true? I believe so, friends do that, tell it like it is, always wanting to see the live…. Im living, but moments like this make living dense…. Not wanting to take to much space on this thing as this is really not my gig, but thought it would be nice to chat and let you know how much i love you and deeply miss you….

    symbol — November 29, 2005 @ 6:13 pm

  116. Clint tried to reach you today, thinking of you and Gavin. Didn’t know this site existed, until I saw the memorial at Alpine. Love you and return safe. Talk soon O.K. Sexy mama-G and familia

    G — November 25, 2005 @ 9:17 pm

  117. i check this site a couple times a week still it is as if i have a line to god and heaven by talking to you or at you i dont know if you hear me i dont know if my words emotions and actions are just falling on the deafness i created by my absents or if there is hope i keep being told at some point i will have a want to go back to god by i dont feel it i will not go back because of heartbreak or because i am in crisis i want to go when my head is clear my heart unburden and i feel the calling but i never have these elements i’m not even sure i could hear god if he did call out to since i have closed my heart to him for so long i know that its important for my everyone to have a relationship with god thats why i have opened that door for my kids i have given them the tools needed to know god i think as they go to ccd and church even though it is without me i wish in many ways i could say that i know god in the way you did when you were here but i cant i hope that one day i may know god as well as you did but i dont think i can i did not loose my faith i think the path is just not visable and to see it i will need an open mind and a pure heart and those i do not have…… how do i find my way …….i dont feel as though i’m missing anything……..i dont feel broken or empty……..what is it that i’m looking for or trying to say……..i think i am ready i know that i’m trying to understand but i cant see the path that leads to the promised land…….i want so much to talk to my mom during this time of the year and i know her she has found you to make sure your ok and adjusting so when you see her next tell her i love her and miss her and wish i talk with her too but i just cant find the right phone to her…….how odd when you both were here i talked to here almost everyday and you once in a blue moon now that you have both gone its the roles are reversed…….in my mind she is cancer free and with grandma huesman aunt pat uncle monk and your grandma of course the rest of that ever so close yet totally screwed up family that loves us all so dearly………..i miss you all and wish i could be a better me so i will again be with you all

    Anonymous — November 24, 2005 @ 3:27 pm

  118. Off to Amsterdam…. Without my man :( what can i say about that? I naver travelled without Tim before. My “rock”. This ought to be interesting for sure. I gave Gavin his birhday present early “v-tech” game. Now he has his little “lap-top/video game” and i have my “lap-top/spider solitaire :)” action:) this could make for an intresting flight. …Running errannds yesterday brought me to the “skate park” (ouch), the lawyers office (double ouch), etc…. one of those places was the Bridge…Jackie was there and little Marin wanted to say “hi”… Jackie brought her over “hi miki, where’s Tim?”…in a sinking heart…”well,honey he is with God. Isn’t that great! He gets to be with God every day!”… she just lookks at me and smiles “ok”…meanwhile Jackies eyes look like they were going to burst into tears… she held it together pretty good, i thought. Then Marin asks “oh yeah, where’s Gavin?” as if it had just crossed her mind…you know? don’t you have a son somewhere? :) It was very sweet and so overwhelmingly childlike… I love the innonscence… My tears still flow, my patience still short, my desire to know God more still strong and getting stronger. My desire to understand where my emotions are coming from is key. I need to talk things out… to figure things out… I need to know where i stand with people and i need you to know where you stand with me. I don’t think i played games before… Tim and i never had time for there pettiness… now know why… this accident has only hightened that for me…. which has been a burden and a blessing. God has a plan for me… God has a plan for all of us…. do i want to know what that plan is? sometimes? or at least parts of it? that i will not be doing it alone? I do not need to know his plan because whether i know it or not… it will happen.. right? because i choose to follow God’s will. So why spend my time in worry and complaint instead of prayer and listening…..trying to hear which way he is trying to guide me/us… God mold me into the woman that you have chosen me to be, the mother that Gavin needs me to be so that he can become the man that i know he will be….to do your work oh Lord… give me guidance, and peace of heart, countenance, a quiet way, a calm spirit, remove my type a and give me more peace when talking to Gavin… Oh Lord please do not let me fail my son… I ask this in your name Lord Jesus

    miki — November 23, 2005 @ 6:39 am

  119. How do i write this without losing its purity..?? Sitting at a table with deareast of friends, messing around with my new digital camera. One of my “body guards” does that “self portrait” thing where you turn the camera at youself to see how funny you look close up. In the reflection of his sunglasses are his wifes two best friends who are both going through some painful seasons and here he is… keeping a watchful eye… such amzing purity to me.. and symbolism… and really i think Tim rubbed off on me way to much :) I know that i have someone watching out for me up there.. it is nice to know that someone is watching out for me down here… i wish i could insert that image onto this page somehow… i am not that talented yet.. when i get our web page up i will definitely have that picture on it…

    in Christ

    miki — November 21, 2005 @ 5:01 am

  120. These are just a few thoughts that have touched me… “it is amazing how when you begin to reflect on your blessings, your losses become like a vapor. while the scent of loss still lingers, our appetite for God’s blessings has become more unqunchable.”….. “the pain we feel when someone leaves our lives is in direct proportion to the joy they bring while a part of our lives…” If that is the case then it is no wonder that i am in so much pain…Here come the holidays and invitations to those holiday partys… wow.. a whole new kind of pain… where can i hide now? I am running out of places… God please guide me… guide my heart… give it peace…

    miki — November 20, 2005 @ 6:10 am

  121. Tim-as I look at all that people have written it saddens me. I am noticing that as the months pass fewer people are writing and it is less frequent. I know its not cause they are done grieving but cause they are trying to move on. For whatever reason I know for my self It feels like your accident was just yesterday. I still think I’m dreaming. Praying that it is a dream…knowing deep down I am not dreaming. I was driving today and the night that I got the call from Miki just plays in slow motion until dad told me you were gone.I never felt so helpless in my life. Then I picture your lifeless body in the coffin. How that haunts me. I can’t imagine those who saw your on the ground. I know mom and dad have a hard time with just knowing you were laying over under the yellow tarp. There are days I fight to try and not be mad with amanda. Why?Why didn’t she take a few more seconds? Then today I was watching your memorial video and listened to how in tune you were with God and him talking to you about death….God was telling you to understand what death was and to not be afraid…..and with that I know you werent when your time came. Even though I should find comfort in that….I ache for just hearing you laugh at my silly jokes or making bets on whether dad will make it somewhere on time….I am dreading going to CA for Thanksgiving…..I am so saddened because I am suppose to be thankful and I feel so not. I know that wrong and I do have alot of reason to be thankful but its hard. Im not sure how I can deal with looking at the end of the table and not have you there and also having Miki and Gavin gone…..There are soo many days it feels like your death has divided the family but I knows those are the feelings that satin wants me to feel. Miki and I were so close and she would lean on me for anything and now I know she needs her space and its hard to allow that cause she is my sister but I know her pain is deep. I also know I can’t make the pain go away but I can love her. Miki I love you and I will always be here. Hope your head feels better today so that I get to see you tomorrow night. Tim I miss you

    your sis — November 19, 2005 @ 11:00 am

  122. I feel like everything i do or say is in slow motion… like the whole world is passing me by… everyone talks about the strength they see in me… i have never felt more weak.. i feel like i am dying inside… a slow painfull death… it i so much harder for the people left behind. why did God think that i could handle this? He must know something about my character that i haven’t found yet. … I am walking around in a fog… half aware of what is going on around me and only half caring about it… finding myself at my destination not knowing how i arrived there… I am slowly dying inside and i can’t break free… not even Gavin’s smile can do it right now… God, grant me peace in my heart, give me rest… allow me to put my trust in you that you will take care of me… your will be done..

    miki — November 7, 2005 @ 1:58 pm

  123. Miki – Mike & Jennifer love and miss you – hope we see you next time we are in Ventura. Love from the hillbillies in TN.

    Mike & Jennifer Greenberg — November 3, 2005 @ 11:54 am

  124. How honored I was to make that blanket. Tim- I can hear your appreciation. You always had words of encouragement -when you weren’t bagging on something! Ha ha…just kidding. Miki-I love you and only hope that you know how I long to be available for whatever…Please, never hesitate. Girls night out, soon? Don’t worry, Tim, we’ll be good!

    martha — October 29, 2005 @ 9:45 pm

  125. Tim, your guidance is so needed right now… needed in so many areas… you just have a way of diffusing situations.. and i, on the other hand… well i, do not have those talents… i am doing my best, i just seem to be fumbling. I hear you in my head. Maybe if i were 100 pounds heavier and a foot taller, or if i had that “man” voice of yours…. the thing is.. alot of people have that and are not listened to… There is a respect demanded and a respect given. It is hard to get that at 5’2″ with a face like a kid… For a person that demands so much… considered so strong… and speaks her mind.. i feel so insecure in so many things… without my “rock” i am not sure which things to fight and which things to “kiss off”…. I have had ” what Tim would want” thrown in my face a few times… and you know me… that did not go very well… my “mikiness” came out like there is no tomorrow… probably not something people should throw around unless they want that “wrath” :) … I can hear your chuckle… very nice my love… you just have this way of “i don’t care if you ever see or talk to those people again. If it upsets you like this” We lived that advice… kept our distance from people that i truly love, but … they cause me tremendous pain…. i still saw them out of obligation and now it has turned into seeing them because i want to.. they truly respect my space (our space) and when i can not handle it … i can leave… i did learn something from you :) Now i have to try and create my space with…. and i don’t know how to do it. …. Your son is getting so big… with his purple mohawk… He rode Christians dirt bike the other day. He was so excited when he came home. Chritians helmet is green. When Gavin gets a helmet, he wants it to be purple… Sorry honey.. he is a purple freak. I am drawing the line on painting his room “hefalump purple”. I just don’t think i could deal with my “son’s” room purple. Tommy is going to help me build a rock climbing wall for next to his bed, so he can have a new way to climb up. Maybe even put a rope next to it so that he can climb up or swing down… He does it anyway, he just needs new ways so that he does not break the dresser… i think he might have gotten past your “afraid of heights” thing.. which still baffles me. you are a “heights” :) … Tommy, Zac and I are going to go skydiving and i think i talked Mia into doing it to.. am i making you nervous :)… and your son and i are planning on when we can go in a shark cage, since i didn’t get to go with you…. Kat is freaking out allready. She said she would go on the boat… maybe… wow, sad moment… we had talked about that so much. If and when that day ever comes i do not know what will affect me more… you not there.. or me being “shark bait”… I had a long conversation with a friend yesterday… a friend that i thought i had lost…. self induced “thought i had lost”.. by the end of the conversation we were on the computer talking and not…. and i felt so close to you.. I love you so much.. this couch is getting kinda comfy… i am so sad that you are not here… your presence is missed… i was going to say “mostly your arms”.. but its not that.. it is so much more.. i miss your mind, your heart, your smell, the sound of your voice, your embrace, seeing you walk through the room, holding your son…. we miss you and LOVE you…………

    miki — October 26, 2005 @ 8:22 am

  126. Tim, i miss you my love. This house is so different without you in it. It is different anyway, but especially without you. I keep waiting for you to walk by or call… or…. i just miss the smell of you… and the feel of you… Did you love me? Were you proud of me? Did you love your son? Your friends? Were you proud of them? Were there things in our live that you wish we would do differently? What Should we work on? How can we be better people? More like Christ? How can we make sure that when we die these questions do not have to be left unanswered? How can we make sure that when we die we sell out Ventura theatre? That a community feels a loss. You will never know how many livs you actually touched. Most of those questions are answerable i know. Of course you loved me, your son, your friends… of course you were proud of me you told me the morning you …. there are so many things i wish we had talked about. So many things i still want to talk to you about… “it’s nice to want”… God and i are having some interesting times as of late… i am struggling here though… not sure where to turn… i feel like, as soon as i get a grasp on things…. i am slammed to the floor again.. you used to pick me up… it’s much slower going now.. however it came to me the other day, was i depending on you for my salvation as well?… what a burden you must have felt.. i ask you now for your forgiveness… and i pray that you will here it… i do not feel like i have to keep praying that prayer (accepting Jesus) for fear that the last time maybe he didn’t hear it, or your heart wasn’t in the right place, or…. whatever.. just that fear of maybe not getting into heaven because you didn’t pray right… so silly… somehow my fear has vanished and my Abba Father has wrapped his arms around and he holds me… He reassures me as a father does for his daughter, my salvation is secure and i have never felt more safe…. well accept when i was in your arms… different safety but you get where i’m going… I lost my train of thought there for a moment… your son has been spending so much time in the garage, since it is HIS now… oh and by the way… we got his hair done abd he really wanted a new look so i let him get a purple mohawk… big gavin was a little nervous too because you were a big guy down here… imagine the damage you could cause him from where you sit now. :) Just remember that your son loves his hair and big gavin loved doing it… We love you daddy…

    miki — October 24, 2005 @ 2:02 pm

  127. tim i was in a store today and the young kid that helped me looked and sounded so much like you and imagesof you were flashing though my mind…..i was listening very close to the tones of his voice when it dawned on me the words he was saying were alot like yours and the pain of april 20 was there and fresh again…..i have been up all night and i can not for the life of me sleep my mind drifts back to that store tonight…. his sense of humor was alot like yours and it brings tears to my eyes to think about it all again this morning he was like a breath of fresh air……..funny enough a year ago or 6 short months ago i would have made a mental to tell your dad about this the next time we talked but i know he is not ready to hear about this……but you would be proud your daddy has been so strong and has fought and is winning his own battles…. he’s so very strong….

    jenn — October 23, 2005 @ 6:45 am

  128. In all the years that Tim and I were friends I never thought that our lives would take us in different directions. I regret that our lives drifted apart as we got older, married, and went off to school. There are so many what if’s and why’s. They will never be answered. I pray that God will give comfort and strength to you Miki. I don’t write here very often but I think about you and Gavin often. Since Tim past away I view life differently. Going to his service impacted my life in such a strong way. Seeing what his life became is amazing!!

    Take care,
    Dianne

    Dianne — October 22, 2005 @ 9:52 pm

  129. pain does not express the feeling that wrenches my insides and tares at my heart… i wish i could find a word that would describe it though…. the images that play over and over in my mind are overwhelming from those first days… I can only imagine the images that go through your mind (julie and greg) as well as many others who were fortunate or unfortunate however you want to look at it, to be at the accident site that day… i have been wrestling with not being able to see him until he was in the mortuary…. that image haunts me still… but did God know that there is no way that i could handle seeing him on the ground?… i am so sorry for those of you who have to struggle with those images…. i can oly dare to imagine the pain thatthose images must bring… please know that my heart aches with you… (tears)… so many tears i can hardly see my screen… ( i hate when that happens) I have not been in my room now for about 48hrs….. Why does that bother me now after 6 months?… Strange how things have been affecting me… i have to run into my room to get changed and back out again as fast as i can… for anyone that knows me and the amount of time i spend in there because of my head…. i’m not sure what to do.. i’m down at Mia’s so maybe we can hash it out… there’s something about being down here that makes me think, since this is where i was when i was called about Tim… i get very nervous right before i leave here though…. afraid to answer my phone :(… then again God allowed for me to be with my best friend right? … and i am loosing it lately so? … what better place to be… having tea with my best friend, listening to my son laugh and … just talk… as i write gavin is cuddled up next to me so cute, clutching his blanket like someone is going to steal it, no bad dreams yet.. one of us is sleeping though…..
    to everyone out there,
    I Love You and i will continue to pray for your pain as well… did i say I Love You

    miki — October 22, 2005 @ 2:05 am

  130. miki….you were so on my heart yesterday…you and gavin…..it doesn’t seem possible that it has been six months….hurts like it was six minutes ago….know that greg and i think of you each and everyday….pray…cry….ache i can’t even begin to imagine the pain you carry…..we love you!

    Julie — October 21, 2005 @ 10:31 pm

  131. … Six months…. I find myself in a place of …. well… not sure yet… i’ll let you know when i figure it out… i am sitting on the couch.. the heat of the fire filling the room… wrapped up in the blanket Martha made me of the t-shirts you wore most often… the silence so deafening i had to turn the tv on just to be able to break the silence…. my emotions are all over the place.. most of the day i have been running around, keeping myself busy.. less time to think that way.. found myself at dinner with some dear friends wrestling with the emotions that have been coming up lately… desperately grasping for words to make sense of what i am feeling… i want so badly to be able to verbalize things.. i am sure that my frustration shows… Came to my thursday night bible study … with no mention of today and how i am affected …. not because i am not loved by…. there is just so much going on in this world of ours… bible study over and gavin has been asleep for a few hours… a rare moment in this house i know… so the silence did not creep in… it slammed through the front door…. what to do? call someone? who do you call that is not dealing with same thing? Trying to make sense of a senseless act….. just … this sadness that my strong… amazing… husband is gone because someone could not wait 30 seconds to cross the street… 30 seconds took away a 6ft 4in 230lb man, husband and father, son, brother,friend, mentor, pastor, leader, speaker, businessman, surfer, rider, movie lover, writer, drummer,snowboarder …. did i say husband and father?…. 30 seconds….. he is so many things to so many people and i know i missed alot of them… there are so many of us in so much pain … again i wish there was a way that we could ease that for each other… so i turned to this outlet that Tim was always on … and i choose to write… just spill whatever my mind throws out.. i know the tv is still on because the light flickers accross the screen… i hear nothing… i feel the heat of the fire… Gavins screams pierce through my thoughts… bad dreams again… he wants to sleep with me in our room.. however the thought of our room tonight is unbearable.. so we each get a couch warmed by the fire… maybe one of us will get some sleep tonight…..

    miki — October 20, 2005 @ 11:05 pm

  132. To Jared,Michel and Tony…there is something that i want to say to all of you… i have been searching for the right words.. erasing this thing time and again.. i decided to just ramble on and hope that you will understand what i want to get accross to you. … There is nothing sacred about this website, let me start there. I come for encouragement from you as much as come here to try and understand how i am doing… When people ask me how i am doing… i have no idea how to answer them.. my day goes up and down and sideways and… well.. i do not know what way … so many times every day it is hard to say how i am doing from one minute to the next… sometimes i come here just to see if one of you has some “words of wisdom”… something that may help … help what?… you never know… i wish i knew.. then i would call you and ask…. i do not know and that is the beauty of this… you do not know either and sometimes that is what i need… God maybe giving you somekind of prayer for me that i do not know i need until you have written it down.. it may be that there is someone out there thinking of me… and most of the time … i think that is what i need… to know that someone else is feeling the loss of the most wonderful man that ever entered my life… So please do not feel that you are imposing… PLEASE impose.. most of the time i need it… i love you guys… and everyone else that reads this and writes in anonymous or not….. In CHRIST

    miki — October 20, 2005 @ 4:15 pm

  133. I keep starting to write and then turning this thing off and…. i need to talk to you…. You have such a prescence… even when you are not here, i am in your shadow… I hear God calling me… to what? i do not know…. do i care really?…. no…. I pray to Him, not to reveal His plan, because it does not matter. That plan will come to pass wether i know it or not. I have enough to deal with. Why fill it up with information that does not matter right? It’s gonna happen anyway… it will be great and it will be right because it will be done His way, so why worry… I feel so strong some days in this.. alot of days in this… as i write them to you.. i feel weak… i want to be held in your arms and… well just stay there and be safe… i guess i have to find a new safety. Don’t i?… A new security in Christ alone…. so much easier said than done when you are up in the middle in the night missing your …. perfectly beautiful husband….. I am searching for myself…. i feel as though i have been lost for so long.. God is trying to show me who i was meant to be for me, for gavin and for Him…. i am probably not making any sense… i usually don’t …. i wish you could help me process what i’m trying to say or what i mean or…. just need …you

    miki — October 19, 2005 @ 9:34 pm

  134. Gavin and i stopped by the accident site today. He said that there were new flowers there…. Dad has been taking him there when he has him… i have so much to say and i do not know how to say it.. not even to you.. because i am not saying it to you, i am saying it to Ventura County…. there is no anger here… that it what is so hard about this thing. You can never see the persons face, or here there voice…. isn’t that where most of the conversation takes place? In the other persons face?… Tim… you … i love you

    miki — October 19, 2005 @ 9:12 pm

  135. Jason and I got a puppy…I remember when I had Taz you tried so hard to help me potty train him and it seemed that I struggled with it…I am determined to potty train this one and you would be proud of me,she is doing so well and she is really teaching me how patience is a virtue. I figured that this would be the small step towards the issue of a baby…if I want to accept the responsibility. I know that if I can’t handle a puppy that a baby is out of the question. I have had her since Friday and she is having fewer accidents as the days pass. I know that consistancy is key and that is what you would tell me.I start my new job on MOnday…I am so excited…Finally a job with no commute.Wish me luck. Tim I can’t figure it out,,,it seemed when you were around our family was so in tuned…now we can’t even speak the same language, It seems like no matter what we can’t convey what we want to say or what we need.WHY? God I pray that you will help us to learn each others needs and what langage we are speaking and that we don’t give up in trying to find everyone’s happy medium. I know that it is your wich for us to stick together and to love each other. I know that satin is trying to tear us apart and maybe we aren’t speaking different languages its just satin not allowing us to hear one another and thats why there seems to be no communication. God i pray that we all try hard to stop ourselves from being frustrated and upset with one another and that we will learn each others place and respect that so that we can all find our happy mediums. God thank you for helping me find such a smart puppy that can help me through my sad days and I pray that you give me the patirnce to train her with love. Tim you are sooooooo missed. It was so hard not to call you when I got my puppy. I so needed your potty training advice.

    your sis — October 18, 2005 @ 2:01 am

  136. Hey… I am laying here next to the most beautiful little boy… He snores every once in awhile and grinds his teeth like crazy…hmmm i wonder who his parents are… he misses his daddy very much, i love his beautiful little 3 yr old mind. The simplicity of his thoughts are amazing and…the other day he asked how come when auntie Dara had her accident… God did not take her?… God took daddy?.. after i diffused that …. which seemed like an eternity to me… he pops up with, when is daddy coming back? …. i swear we have this conversation at least once a week… “baby daddy is not coming back. When you go to heaven.. there is no coming back”… I keep reminding him that you did not “leave” that you were “taken”… that there is no way that you would leave him… no way that you would not want to watch him grow up…. no way you would not want to come home every day and wrestle with him… oh honey he misses that…. he misses his daddy soooo much… everyone is trying to make up for your abscence.. it is just not the same.. not for him, and not for me…
    Martha made me a blanket with some of the t-shirts that you wore most often…. your son is wrapped up in it right now… i will love you always and forever….

    miki — October 17, 2005 @ 11:51 pm

  137. Today might be one of the worst days as of yet… hard to believe i know. Maybe it just feels like it because it is still happening. Next week this will look like a day at disneyland… Can i say how bad life sucks on this website? All of the other entries are lovey and we miss you and i love you. But today i feel like… well i do not feel. Does that make sense? Driving and having no destination, staring at walls with absolutely no thoughts at all, watching tv, if that is what you call it when stare at something and retain nothing. I do not think i smiled one time today… not once. What is that? Gavin not only did not make me smile but was a good part of helping me not smile today. I do not know what else i expeted. Look who his parents are. The 2 most stubborn people on the planet. I wonder where he gets it from?.. Pushing every right button just when you are about to break… he has that down…. Are you going to answer one of these times?… i watch way too many movies. People coming back all the time. It gives false hope to everyone who has lost anyone. That if you wait long enough or do whatever the script says… he will come back. they always come back. So give me the damn script! I’ll do whatever it says. Just give it to me so i can figure out what to do….. somebody..please …. give me the script…….

    miki — October 12, 2005 @ 5:06 pm

  138. Like Jared said this does seem like a sacred space. I kind of feel like I’m intruding but wanted to say I’m so humbled by your public processing of such tremendous grief, Miki. You are an amazing, beautiful, strong woman. I am in awe of you and when I see you I feel useless. Same goes for Lynne and Gavin. Please know how much I care about you all (and Paula even though she doesn’t know me). it still feels so weird at the bridge without Tim. Will it ever not feel that way? I don’t think so. At the same time so much of Tim is in that building and imprinted on the people who gather there that I often find myself expecting to see him.

    michel — October 12, 2005 @ 5:04 pm

  139. hi honey. ….. i feel so .. lost. So unimportant in the scheme of things. All self induced i’m sure… You are so many things to me… to lose them all at once is an overwhelming experience…. To lose your husband,.. bad. To lose your best friend, .. bad.. To lose the father of your child,…. very bad… To lose the one person you could call at the drop of a hat, knowing it would put a smile on your face…. bad…. To lose the person that could melt your heart with a glance accross the room…. very, very bad….. To lose all of these people at the sam time ……… inconceivable… yet it happened. Didn’t it?… You were all taken from me, us,… gavin….. what do we do from here?…. I am running out of projects at home… I am becoming acutely aware of your abscence…. You have such a presence about you when you walk into a room…. that is a big hole, felt all over ventura…. I find myself grasping onto things to somehow stay close to you and yet pushing away at other things to get away because there is to much pain there… our bed is to big… it reminds me constantly that you are not there… I miss your arms… so strong… I never felt better than when i was encircled in them…. i miss your laugh, your smile, your eyes….. just you…… i just miss you……

    miki — October 11, 2005 @ 8:14 pm

  140. tim…
    I feel like you were just with me…or something. I was looking for a friends old e-mail to find her number and I found an old e-mail of yours that I didn’t know was there. I thought I had looked through all my old e-mailsfrom you and put them in a special place. But then there was this one….It was your e-mail telling me of a good church in my area that I should check out cause they seem to have the values or goals of the bridge….I know that I have been lost without a place to go…and there were your words of wisdom again.So I went to this communities website and I just wept it was like I was being called caused this community before use to be sooo far from my house when you first told me about it and they recently moved to only 15 minutes from my house. Thank you God forgiving me the direction to this old e-mail of my brothers to remind me that you are here and so close.

    your sis — October 8, 2005 @ 1:55 am

  141. tim-

    i have been crying out for you so much lately. i ve been having some really rough times at work so I quit today. i see all these entries from your friends and it makes me sad/not angry that they didn’t know me. which means i wasn’t around you enough in your last few years for people to remember me. its not their fault i have people telling me all the time when i visit at the bridge that they didn’t know you had a sister. i am so sorry i wasn’t there. i guess i as much as everyone figured that you were so strong that you could always take care of yourself and when it came down to it you were as delicate as a flower. Like miki i hope everyday that even though i couldn’t be there that i loved you sooo much. You were my only friend before i knew how to make friends.through your actions or your words you protected me. i would do anything to go back to the days when you would choose to play football in the street or hit a volleyball with me in the back yard instead of hanging out with your friends. i always knew as a sister that i had to let go of a little of that to let you become the wonderful person you became…yes I gained a sister and a nephew but i don’t have my brother and i know everyone in the family is hurting in different ways and there are days it feels like we are drifting apart because we don’t know what to say anymore around each other. Its hard cause I am here in Arizona by myself and when I am having a hard day i can’t have a hjug from those closest to me. I misssss Gavin sooooo much and now i fear i will miss out on so much with him like i did you. i don’t know how to cope with all of this and i feel like i can’t express my hurt or my sadness without it sounding like “its all about me”. you were always able to see that i never meant for anything to be just about me….you actually use to always tell me that my health is always going to get in trouble if i don’t start making things about me. Please know that this sadness about people not knowing about me is mearly my realization that i was soooo absent in your life and now i am struggling now that i have to live with that.I mis you

    your sis — October 7, 2005 @ 12:01 pm

  142. I’m not sure where to start… I feel so alone…. So very..alone…. It is so hard to imagine being alone forever…. And even harder imagining sharing it with anyone else… There are so many reminders of … love… everywhere you turn.. every chanel on tv, every movie…. just … everywhere…finding that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with… and you will be complete…. I was complete…..i…had you…… Now there is emptiness all around me…. You were the one i wanted to spend my life with….. How can i complain? God has provided everything we could ever hope for.. and still more. Who am i to question what He feels is right? I do not question much.. but how will our lives be better without you in it? .. Who could have been a better father?… I know what it is like to grow up w/o your daddy….. I did not want that for our son….. God has a plan i know it… i have to believe that or i will fall apart….. So many tears i can hardly see the keys….. the people you have touched will continue to take care of us. I now know why we were meant to be at the Bridge… God knew what was coming and surrounded us with the most amazing, loving, caring… endearing people he could find. He continues to bless us with people.. new people to continue this process…. God is good… Istill have no anger… Why is that? I should be shaking my fists, yelling and screaming about how unfair this is… all i can do is give thanks for …. everything… Gavin, your mom and dad, my family, our friends, this house and even our adorable dog Bella… Even she knows when i need her near me…. Nothing can replace your arms, your beautiful face, the strength in your hands as well as their gentleness, …. your smell…. your eyes… they could see through anything….. i love that i could always see how much you loved me with one look into those baby blues….. no one will ever be as good as you… and i miss that….so alone…. almost unbearable at times…. God only gives you what you can handle right?… Only He can give me the strength to continue on w/o you…… i love you so much… thank you God for the time you gave me… and the knowledge that i will see him again…. love you and miss you

    miki — October 6, 2005 @ 5:50 pm

  143. we have talked so much about how your life had so much value to so many people here on earth….your impact, because of your love for the Lord, was huge!

    how can not having you here be better?? it’s not…….you are so missed, your memory still lives out in so many peoples lives every day……

    i’m really working on being bold in my faith, wearing it on my sleeve, having it weave through everything i do…….

    life for Him…thanks for the inspiration friend!

    A Friend — October 5, 2005 @ 3:30 pm

  144. You can also visit some relevant pages about… Thanks!!!

    Anonymous — October 5, 2005 @ 2:27 pm

  145. You can also visit some relevant pages about… Thanks!!!

    Anonymous — October 5, 2005 @ 2:27 pm

  146. Thinking of you and missing you today Tim, like so many days, you are in my thoughts and Miki and Gavin, Lynn and Frank are in my /our prayers. You were on my mind and heart while I was at the lake (my 1st Guys Getaway) quite a lot. The Lab is going well but you probably know that already. Michel and Joel and I are moving forward with what you and I talked about some time ago, This creative team and the website for the city called ExperienceVentura.com. I know you would approve.

    Miki, whatever I/we can do to be a part of your lives and share the daily burdens, challenges and all else would be a priveledge and honor.

    With much Love,
    Tony Cicero

    Tony Cicero — October 5, 2005 @ 7:15 am

  147. Tim I finally got whatever it is I needed to visit this site. I have wanted to talk to you about so many things these last few months. I miss your gentle way and your open heart.
    Thank you for that time on the road when I was stung by the bee on the bike. I know that your spirit was there with me guarding, watching and reassuring. I never could have turned that bike around without you there. I am seriously thinking about selling the harley. It has nothing to do with fear, I just have no desire to ride any more. I think I am done. Billy wants me to wait a few months to be sure. I agreed but I don’t see anything changing. I wonder what you would say about that. I wonder if I would feel differently if you were still here with me. Miki and I have been spending more time together. I love that. She is being so brave and strong. He grief has caused her to grow and stretch and she has done it so gracefully. I am in awe of her. I am so honored and humbled that she would seek out my company and my counsel. I understand why you love her so much. Heck if I were a guy I would do her!!! Ha!!! I love you Tim. I did from the moment we met and shared life at the top of Kalorama and I will until the day I die.

    hvenbnd — October 4, 2005 @ 8:19 pm

  148. my heart hurts in so many different ways. If you can see me then you know why. God is good! I can see that. Always have. Still not mad at him. Just bummed at the circumstances of it all. Your son knows how to push my buttons as of late. I just don’t know how to handle things sometimes and those are usually the times that he decides to meltdown. Boy, I sure could use the daddy voice right about now. He misses you. I miss you……

    miki — October 4, 2005 @ 4:36 pm

  149. Can’t sleep. Miss you……… Our bed is too big…..

    miki — October 2, 2005 @ 12:18 am

  150. tim,
    i dont know if we had ever talked about the fact that my son kaileb is a football player but he is and he is so good for being only 10 but at the high school where kaileb practices and is the home field for his team we had a tragity this past week and it brought me back to the saddness of your passing over one of our kids was hit in a football game and suffered a critical brain injury at 16 his life here was done like you matthew was larger then life and loved by so many he was a strong youth leader in his church and i know his spirit will go on i hope and pray that the boy that made the tackel will find a place of peace and understanding as with the young lady that was involved in your accident neither set out to end a persons life but both did and both struggle for what is not ready their doing i felt a strong feeling of just being over whelmed after you died i felt the need to make changes in my life so i started redoing my house and making it a home for my kids and all their friends i needed finally to have a place to find refuse and peace i guess this means my age has caught me finally i hope you enjoy the fact that you will be 33 forever and the other 6 of us are going to age at remakable speedand please if you find the time tell matthew how loved he was his family is being taken care of and yes we will all at every game home and away wear our #2 and think of him tim i know you have all you ever dreamed heaven was and you watch over your wife and son every minute but my mind drifts to the saddness that i feel because of all the people i love who have gone but really targets on the saddness your death brought to my life and i can not figure out what it means i need a hint or a cue so i know what it is all for does it mean something or is it all nothing i know i’m not entitled to any answers because who am i to question what is and will be but i cant help it i guess one of the many traites that makes me so uncharming

    jenn — September 30, 2005 @ 8:56 pm

  151. just laying here thinking of you. Gavin fell asleep holding my hand. I want to savor that moment forever….and at the same time i want to share it…. Doing dishes today , i could almost feel you ( like in that movie “ghost”) i know that it was not real… but i swear i had to catch my breath. Like you were trying to kiss me or something….. Pausing, i realized i did not want that moment to end either….. So i kept doing dishes and wanting so badly to have your arms around me. To feel my breath being taken as you kiss me….. that is a feeling … unlike any other…….. i miss you

    miki — September 30, 2005 @ 7:24 pm

  152. Hay Bud
    I am heading out to the desert this weekend to ride with all the boys, I will tell them you said hi…… It is hard to have fun in light of your absence but realizing that you are experiencing more Joy than I could ever find here I am encouraged to put those emotions aside and do what we did so many time together, If you aren’t doing anything you can race around the heavens while we ride around the earth this weekend:) We will defiantly think of you around the camp fire and talk about the riding stories that you lived with us, even the Petrocam no hander that started this whole crazy riding thing…… I still feel the need to past this message into my word document and make sure their are no spelling errors for fear that you will fire back a snide comment pointing out my bad spelling and telling me I have no right to be abusing a keyboard like this…. Well it worked and I am a much better e-communicator because of it… Thanks Miss you..

    Anonymous — September 30, 2005 @ 5:09 am

  153. miss u :(

    miki — September 24, 2005 @ 8:07 am

  154. I heard these lyrics by Mercy Me the other day…..couldn’t believe how true they rang in my head…..it always amazes me how God knows every little detail….even what I need to hear on the radio

    “Homesick”

    You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times
    And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you
    But the reason why I’m broken, the reason why I cry
    Is how long must I wait to be with you

    I close my eyes and I see your face
    If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
    Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
    I’ve never been more homesick than now

    Help me Lord cause I don’t understand your ways
    The reason why I wonder if I’ll ever know
    But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
    Cause I’m still here so far away from home

    I close my eyes and I see your face
    If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
    Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
    I’ve never been more homesick than now

    In Christ, there are no goodbye
    And in Christ, there is no end
    So I’ll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
    To see you again
    To see you again

    And I close my eyes and I see your face
    If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
    Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
    Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
    Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow

    I’ve never been more homesick than now

    caring friend — September 23, 2005 @ 6:37 pm

  155. used your sander today saw the table today painted the table today missed you today reminded of you today miss you deeply today!!!

    mrussinger — September 23, 2005 @ 12:00 pm

  156. In your free time, check out some information in the field of… Thanks!!!

    win — September 21, 2005 @ 4:39 pm

  157. Hello my love. Well this has been an interesting …. week? month? year? Where should i start? I think you have probably been watching us with somewhat amuzement. Yes i have been using your tools. And yes it has been totally fun! :) Especially because i can see your expression when i try to do something that you would normally do. Oh, that is a great image….. your face…. Anyway, yes i am a plummer now. An electrician, kind of. And i am about to take on carpentry… Yes, yes i know. Don’t touch your tools. Too late. They are way too much fun. Seriously, I am woman hear me roar!! Just kidding. Mom is making me a pink tool belt though. She is tired of watching me walk around with everything stuck into my pockets. Dad is going to observe me building a headboard. I asked him to come over and make sure that i don’t use the nail gun to permanently become a fixture in our bedroom. He wants to teach me how to weld too. That one scares me a little. Your dad, me, torch, hot metal…. sounds like a recipe for the emergency room. We shall see… Anyway, i was just thinking of you, wishing i could hear you laugh…. even if it was at me and my new found desire for power tools. I LOVE YOU….. miss you…. talk to you soon…

    miki — September 20, 2005 @ 7:36 pm

  158. Miki, thank you for serving Soliton. (We were the unpaid crew.) I wanted to say something, but at the same time I was afraid to say anything.

    Tim, I missed you at Soliton. I saw your signs and traces. But I missed seeing you up in the treehouse, missed your smile and your welcome.

    ++ Help me to welcome others as warmly as Tim welcomed me. ++

    jon reid — September 18, 2005 @ 12:24 pm

  159. Mom found this verse that you marked in your bible. “promise” was written next to it. 2nd Samuel vs 11. ” The Lord declares to you that the Lord himself will establish a house for you: When your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body, and i willestablish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house in my name, and i will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his father and he will be my son. When he does wrong i will punish him… but my love will never be taken away from him.” What else can i say? It has such meaning now. If i would have read this 6 months ago i don’t think i would have given it as much thought. It is amazing how much this now means to me….. and for gavin. I know that i will have to depend on God so much more now…. for so long i thought that i was depending on him…. i was obviously mistaken. My dependance was on Tim. I guess learning how to depend on God and him alone will be my struggle….. Please Lord give me he strength, guidance, discernment and patience that i will need to continue on. You are my Lord and Savior and it is through You alone that i will succeed.

    miki — September 15, 2005 @ 10:32 am

  160. this feels like such a sacred place–i don’t want to disturb the suffocating purity of this space–but miki, I love you. we love you. still aching daily for you. still aching daily for tim. if at anytime you need anything at all–even just a silent listener to your song of lament–i am here. we are here.

    jared — September 14, 2005 @ 5:51 am

  161. Where am i today? My thoughts are so scattered. My heart so restless. What is God’s plan for me?.. for gavin?… I know that there must be something great in store for us…. There must be.. Why did that plan have to not include you…… Did you teach me something that i needed to learn to carry on? Maybe it is the strength that gavin needed… I do not know… I feel so lost… Lord, reveal your plan. Give me strength. Give me compassion. Give me patience. Lord, help me to be the mother that gavin needs. Please let that be something that i will not fail at. I am all that he has left… Help me to show him that he needs only you… Lord please do not let me fail you… please do not let me fail my son…

    miki — September 11, 2005 @ 4:20 pm

  162. Just lying here…. my mind will not let me rest… waiting for you to come home still…. will that feeling ever end?…. Talked with someone the other day about their struggle as well…. “the permanance” of it all. That pretty much sums it up. Doesn’t it? ….. I am still here, still waiting. ….. my tears are to many to contain…. I love you so much. I pray that you knew that…. I will love you forever..

    miki — September 5, 2005 @ 8:21 pm

  163. The pain we fell when someone
    leaves our lifes is in direct
    proportion to the joy they
    bruing while a part of or Lifes.

    Auggie — September 2, 2005 @ 4:36 am

  164. Hi Miki ~

    I just was brought to this site today and wanted to let you know that I think of Tim often and pray for you and Gavin. I know that Tim is watching over the both of you and will continue to do so. How blessed that you shared such an amazing love.

    Take care of yourself.

    Dianne (an old friend of Tim’s)

    Dianne — August 31, 2005 @ 6:32 pm

  165. I think of you constantly…. I visit your website at least 20 times a day….. if for nothing else but to see your eyes… I have never seen anything more beautiful….. your eyes can still see right through me… You can feell the ache in my heart and give it peace (even if only for a brief moment) all at the same time…. :( i almost felt your loving embrace just now….. thank you

    miki — August 30, 2005 @ 8:07 pm

  166. gavin has been riding his bike so much lately. I wish you could see him… He gets so excited. We put his drums in the garage so he can get a headstart on his garage band :) He is so much of you…. He can keep a different beat with each hand and keep that beat for minutes on end… It really is the coolest thing ever…. I get so excited… I turn to grab the phone to call you so that you can listen…. remembering that you will not answer…. that is ok. i know that you can see him….. at least i know that God sees him and he can give you the update…. he misses you so much…. we talk about you all the time… i keep reminding him that you did not leave him, you were taken.. i want him to know that you did not leave him by choice. that you love him so much. you would never leave him. that seems to get through… i hope…. we love you and miss you………… we really miss you…… :(

    miki — August 30, 2005 @ 4:38 pm

  167. miss you :(

    miki — August 25, 2005 @ 12:06 pm

  168. hey my love, been listening to some music. There is this song that , well, has nothing to do with death but the words ring true to where i feel that i am. “seems like just yesterday/ you were a part of me/ i used to stand so tall/ i used to be so strong/ your arms around me tight/ everything it felt so right/ unbreakable like nothing could go wrong/ now i can’t breathe/ no i can’t sleep/ i’m barely hangin on/ here i am/ once again/ i’m torn into pieces/ can’t deny it/ can’t pretend…….broken up deep inside/ but you won’t see the tears i cry/ behind my … eyes/ i told you everything/ opened up and let you in/ you made me feel allright for once in my life/ now all that’s left of me/ is what i pretend to be/…..no i don’t cry on the outside anymore”…… you are missed my love

    miki — August 23, 2005 @ 1:51 pm

  169. Miki and Gavin,

    Well folks, I’m in Kansas City again this weekend…this morning I went for a long walk by myself and as I walked I found myself standing in front of the Starbucks that we all visited at Christmas time when we went to see the lights…Tim’s memory was so strong that it nearly brought me to my knees, the tears came and for once I didn’t stop them (I’m sure a few folks wondered why Starbucks made me cry :))

    The memories are precious and Uncle Mike and I feel so blessed that we had that time with all of you …

    Know that you all are thought of each and every day and that Tim is alive and well in our hearts and memories, even though we’re still trying to understand, to cope and to comprehend what has happened. The reality hasn’t hit yet…it just sneaks up in small bits during moments like today.

    Miki, I hope you know you can call Uncle Mike and I anytime…we’re always here to listen …to share a memory…a good cry or an ear to listen. Tell Gavin the horses are still working in the plaza and the ones I saw today had gold glitter hoofprints!

    oh yes, and it was a lot warmer Miki, but no lights…almost fitting today…

    we love you all

    Aunt Cynthia

    Aunt Cynthia — August 20, 2005 @ 11:51 pm

  170. miki,

    how my heart aches for you…we have never met, nor did i ever have the blessing to know tim in person…yet you and he reach and touch my heart, soul, and family…

    we know friends of yours, and were with them after tim’s passing, and we will never be the same again…

    the legacy that both you and tim cultivated in your family, relationships and friends has created an incredible legacy, and in the process has drawn countless families closer together.

    We have been blessed beyond words, and as i wipe the tears from my eyes now, i am confident that God will continue to work amaizing things though you and your family…

    It hurts, and my prayer is that God eases that hurt, and shines peace, comfort, and blessings on you all…

    Thank you for your courage, your honesty, and for your ministry to countless families reading this.

    In Christ’s service…

    chris — August 19, 2005 @ 12:00 am

  171. This has been an especially hard week not sure why….all I have wanted to do is talk to you and hear your laugh. I want a hug from my big brother…I want to laugh with you….I can’t even begin to comprehend doing that NEVER AGAIN. I just keep saying if I just had another 5 minutes with you I would just want a hug and tell you about the concert I went to before your accident…I can kick myself because for a week before the accident I kept telling myself to not forget to call you and tell you about the cool drum solo I saw and I even told myself on the way home from work on 4/20 and I never got around to it. I haven’t been able to throw away the ticket stub yet..I had kept it in my bathroom to remind me to call you but I guess that never really worked.I know that is a silly regret but we shared so much and we talked about everything so that was just one of the things I didn’t get around to calling you about.Well, when I was at the concert and the drummer was doing his solo they tilted his whole platform verticlely in the air and rotated it as he played. It was so cool you would of loved it.

    paula — August 14, 2005 @ 7:48 am

  172. It seems like the reality should have hit by now…but it hasn’t. Memories flood the mind, visions dance in front of my eyes, tears fall and pain is so fresh. What is the right prayer to pray? Peace? Understanding? Continuance? I never knew how hard this loss would be…how long the pain would continue…how many questions would go unanswered….God as we seek, in Your wisdom please direct.

    A Friend — August 12, 2005 @ 12:42 pm

  173. hey tim…Its me again. Jason lost his job two weeks ago. I am glad he isn’t there anymore because he was getting sooo stressed out and so angry about how he was being treated. I kept giving him the advice you gave me when I was working the hospital..”take the high road and don’t get mixed up in the BS. Just do your job and do it well and God will provide the answer”. Well, God came through…Jason is on the road now working with his dad and makes good money. Its hard to be by myself alot but I am strong enough to stand on my own two feet. Jason reminds me a lot of you as in…he would do anything to be a good provider even if it ment costing him being able to spend time with me. Maybe that’s why I love him so much…cause he has the same beliefs as you did. Mom sent me the pictures of all of us at christmas in Kansas and all I can do is remember the fun we had goofin about how grandpa was going through his closet trying to get all those clothes out because you had no clothes to wear. OH!! and your favorite the bright blue sweats. Everyday I hear your voice talking to me as if we are having a conversation….but I know it is me remembering the sound of your voice. I find myself realizing its has only been just over 3 months since the accident but it seems like yesterday…then I stop and realize that if it is only been 3 months then the rest of my life without you is going to seem like forever and take forever. I talked to Grandma Deane and Grandpa Deane isn’t doing very well. He has a lot of health problems so she spends a lot of time taking care of him. Oh I wish I could see you laugh. I try to remember the last time I talked to you and I keep drawing a blank. All I can remember was the last time I saw you which was a month prior. We went to eat…you were so excited cause it was a nice night to ride. We were also placing bets on whether dad would be late…and the one time we didn’t bet he shows up on time. I remeber sharing your favorite cake….that was the last thing we did together. I love you and I miss you soooooooooooooooo much.

    paula — August 11, 2005 @ 8:26 pm

  174. How quickly my eyes well up… I miss you. Every day a flood of emotions rage in my heart whenever you cross my mind they seem to be without end. I think it is at its worst when I hear about those that were close to you in agony. I know you would not want them in pain yet I have no solution to make it go away.
    My prayers are going out to The Garrety’s, Russenger’s, Sponseller’s, Lippert’s, Thompson’s, Bridge’s and my own family the McGranahan’s That God will fill this massive void in all that morn your passing. I called your cell today for the first time Miki leaves it on so that anyone that wants to call and here your voice again can it has such meaning to hear you say you are unable to take my call but if I leave a message you will get back to me as soon as you can. I will hold on to that and be comforted in knowing that you’re gone but not lost and we will meet again.

    Dan McGranahan — August 10, 2005 @ 11:40 am

  175. Hi my love. I’m not sure what makes my days good or bad….. I am sure that the last several days have been unbearable…. I think that i am still trying to deny what has so obviously taken place. I feel as though i have a handle on things and maybe you will be home later…. I then get this picture that slams to the forefront of my mind…. it is you… on that table… not moving… and not even looking like.. you. I try to shake it off and realize that nothing can erase that image. Noone can understand how… “wrong” of a moment that can be…. Gavin had a dream about you.. He was so excited… “Do you knw when daddy is coming back?”…. I have answered that so many times….. I can not even count them.. He will still ask and i will continue to answer him. No matter how painful that answer is……oh baby we need you, can you see that from up there?… Will you know us when it is our time to go?… That might be the hardest thing…. not knowing if you will know me…. or your son?…………. There is no sorrow in heaven right? So how can you miss us? How can you see what pain we are in and not be sad?…….. I know that you probably do not see us…….. will you know me my love?.. will you?……….. My heart says you will and mind knows you won’t……..There must be something God is going to be teaching us through this…… There has to be….. or why did this happen? …… Please Lord tell me what it is…… tell me that my husband will recognize me when i see him again………… my pain is unbearable……… i pray oh Lord for your strength, it will be through you alone that i will be able to get through this. Thank you oh Lord for the beautiful gift of Gavin… I see you in his eyes…. and in his smile….. Thank you Lord for that piece of Tim ……

    miki — August 7, 2005 @ 10:55 pm

  176. I have so many questions and the person that i want to answer them can not be reached….. I realize now how much i depended on you… how much everyone depended on you… you always helped no matter what. Even on the day of our miscarriage people were calling and asking for help. I remember you yelling out “can’t i have just one day for my family. Just one flippen day to grieve ….. just one day”…. Then you looked at me and said ” i have to call him back, don’t i? “. That is why i love you so much. You were always there for everyone… I remember people calling and being pissed off because you did not call them back right away. I hope that they can now see why…….. In all of my sadness and the sadness of others….i can’t believe that it took this to finally give you rest……. Enjoy your time my love. Revel in the glory of your Lord. If anyone deserves it .. it should be you…. for you were a good and faithful servant….. rest well my love …rest well……….

    miki — August 3, 2005 @ 12:58 pm

  177. Hey friend this is my first post. I find it hard to write because words are incomplete and faulter in comparison to the friendship we have shared. Everyday my mind and heart are overcome by your face, voice, and smile. Im fighting the enemy of permanence, it seeks to finalize your absence and I scream against its powerful surge. Everything around me is a first, and these new beginnings are the hardest to deal with. Im floating, bopping up and down like lifeless bait in this huge ocean know as life. Its hard not to have you hear, to not call you, to continue to be pastor without you my confident and companion in this Kingdom effort. It takes so much out of me to be useful, I flounder continuously,maybe others cant see it, but its so apparent inside this skin. This skin hurts……. We agreed to remain in Ventura, to dream and explore the realms and reaches of Truth together. Do I continue? Can I continue? I dont know Tim, I dont know anymore…..
    Tonight your wife and son sit with us. Michele and Miki talk , Gavin, Liam, and Ashtin sleep and I sit here aching as each finger touch the keyboard….. I MISS YOU MY FRIEND, i see you in my dreams and I awake fearful, knowing that its true…. How far is gone, where is gone?
    Help God, help…. “Will You turn this mourning into joyful dancing”? I’m undone…………..

    Greg Russinger — July 28, 2005 @ 11:20 pm

  178. Hi baby. Here i am again. Ican not get out of this extreme sadness. The simplest of decisions seems unbearable. I want to curl up in a ball and never move again. My head is raging and all i want is to here your truck coming around the corner…. i miss that sound… that and of the garage door opening because you turned the bike off and are coasting in… so much is happening and nothing is happening all at the same time. Life just goes on… doesn’t the rest of the world know what happened don’t they care? life should stop or be on pause or something? Don’t they know your gone and what they are missing? ….. How do i put into words the pain that i feel…. How is it that the days keep coming? Why does my heart ache soooo much? i miss how you feel.. i miss the strength that you posessed. The way your arms felt around me.. the softness of your kisses.. i miss you my love.

    miki — July 26, 2005 @ 10:47 pm

  179. Meredith and I were working in the lab and we were missing you. We were saying how every time we let ourselves remember that you’re gone, it’s still shocking. It still seems so impossible. Miki and I shared a special moment recently and I feel so useless when I’m around her. You being gone, pretty much sucks. I don’t know how else to say it. Tony and Troy did some scary manuevering on a ladder to put up the lab signs and I remembered when you put up the symbols sign. I never would have known that made you nervous. You seemed so confident way up there on the super tall ladder. You and Greg. It was one of those moments I was privy to out of happenstance, and now I cling to the memory of it. I don’t know when we’ll stop crying at the bridge. Our tears seem to have no end. Can you hear us?

    michel — July 26, 2005 @ 7:31 pm

  180. tim-I found myself wanting to call you this weekend because I was able to locate grandma deane and uncle david. Mom is back in contact with both but being very causious about grandma. Grandma obviously didn’t know about the accident and was very upset to find out about you being gone.It was so hard to tell myself you are gone. I was so use to calling you andtelling you how life was going. Our friend Robert..his son was in an accident and is hurt real bad…he is on machines. I am glad you didn’t have to be on machines.I know that you didn’t want that for yourself. Dad gave me a picture of you and it is the only picture I have that everytime I see it my eyes fill up with tears. Tim, I miss you sooo much. I miss calling you and getting voicemail and knowing that we would play phone tag for even days sometimes. I was out visiting everyone on 4th of July…Gavin asked me to teach him the words to your favorite song…”boulevard of broken dreams” he misses you so much. I can’t wait till he can really comprehend why you had to leave but didn’t want to. I keep going to my storage unit and I keep putting off looking in my boxes because I don’t want to look at the cards you sent or the pics we took together or even to see things you gave me. The one thing I can always remember about us is you were always proud to be my brother and I was always proud to be your little sister. I still find myself dazeing out and thinking I will wake up from this bad dream someday. I love you buddy…

    paula — July 25, 2005 @ 5:02 pm

  181. Coach,
    I will never forget the lessons you gave me, but not the ones on how to be a better player. Thanks for the instruction, but not for the instruction on how to make the plays. I want to thank you for the lessons you gave me on how to treat people and how to make your players feel important and special. Thanks for the instruction you gave me on how to be a great coach and human being. I look back at the fall of 1990 and realize that it was then that I learned how to coach. Tim, you taught me how to get my players to want to play hard for their coach like I did for you. You taught me my perspective of what a coach should be. For that, Thank You Coach. May God bless you, your family, and all those that you left behind. To the Garrety family, I share in your mourning but trust in God’s love for you.

    Ricky #67 — July 25, 2005 @ 2:17 pm

  182. I do not know where to start or really what to say… I mean how many times can i ask for you to come home? Or why won’t you answer me? I can’t sleep.. my mind won’t shut up.. it’s not even like my brain has anything good to say.. so why can’t i ignore it? Your son looks so much like you, it creeps me out sometimes. The funny thing is, he even has your dry sense of humor. It really cracks me up, the things that come out his mouth… He was dancing to this stupid dog commercial on animal planet, i thought i would bust a gut it was so funny. Of course the first thing i wanted to do was call you and tell you all about… i was quickly reminded that you could not be reached :(.. Why am i writing to this void? What does this accomplish? Is this healthy? or is it completely pointless?.. You can’t even answer so why do i continue? … I can’t cry!!!!! I won’t let myself.. why?? even now tears are welling but i refuse to let them fall… what am i trying to prove? nobody is around, gavin is asleep, yet i persist …. i am so stubborn that even in his time of solitude i still have to be in control. … i keep thinking, did i not love you as much as i thought because i do not break down like so many others… at the same time i know that NOBODY loved you more. …i have never loved anyone like i love you. Gacin does not count. i love him in a completely different way. … My heart aches.. i want it to stop and hurt worse all at the same time. … won’t you just hold me until i fall asleep?….dear God i miss you so much…

    miki — July 25, 2005 @ 2:46 am

  183. I never knew Tim Garrety
    I don’t recall having ever met him.
    But I used his name several times a year.
    –Especially in early September, when for my high school seniors’ first lesson I would pull out an article written by Tim Garrety, entitled, “Stand Strong.” From this, my students would learn–from a modern, seemingly cool person–that it’s essential to understand the philosophies behind those glib, trite, slogans and “soundbites” that we so carelessly parrot from media and friends. In this article, he challenges us to follow our statements of belief to their ultimate and logical conclusions. This always led my classes to a discussion of our world-views, whether or not we even understood our own world views, and how society influences us. Throughout the school year, Tim’s article was frequently referred to as we examined the philosophical assumptions behind British authors in history, as well as American writers today. It was a great way to launch a meaningful year.
    One day, late in the afternoon or evening, I saw flashing lights ahead, and quickly took a detour.
    Oddly, I felt moved to pray for whomever was involved–a practice I remember only a couple of times a year.
    More oddly, a fellow teacher told me in passing that there was a serious accident the day before on Telegraph, and some guy on a motorcycle was killed. I still can’t figure out why he told me that–he never stopped to talk to me for any other reason.
    Then, that night, my husband–reading the paper–said something like, “Oh, honey, brace yourself…”
    To this day, I have wanted to tell the family what he meant to me and approximately 360 economically disadvantaged students. I was hoping that, if Skate Street opened again, I could find an avenue to do so.
    Then, in my monthly-ish call to the Skate Street number, hoping for information, I got the message about this great site.
    About a year after finding the previously mentioned article in a magazine called “Firestarter” (I believe), I found out that Tim was instrumental in founding and maintaining the park, I was so grateful to him: my older son desperately looked for places to skate in an era when skaters were outlaws. Ten years later, my younger son had a place to go. For that I’m grateful as well.
    If I, who have never even seen a picture of Tim Garrety, feel this void, then I can’t even imagine what you, his family, must feel. I wish you comfort, and will keep fervently praying for that for you. Tim Garrety, like all of us, was created for eternity; and I thank God for sharing him with us long enough for us all to become better, deeper human beings.

    Linnea Taylor — July 14, 2005 @ 8:47 pm

  184. Where are you? Why do you not answer me? I can hear you so clearly sometimes… why not now? I don’t hear you…. I think that i know what you might say?… I can even hear the sarcasm in your voice :)… I just need you… or want you? or … I don’t know… maybe both… please come back………

    miki — July 6, 2005 @ 12:35 am

  185. Hello my love…. I got tired of waiting for you to clean up your office… so Dara and i went to town. You have the best office now. … … I painted it just like we talked about… i’m getting you a couch.. to be delivered on friday… I know you will love it… Can’t you come back for just one day… to enjoy the office of your dreams????? ….i guess you already have it don’t you…. I’m trying to be strong… I nly cry when Gavin is not around or he is sleeping…. wich isn’t that often… he asks for you all the time…when is God going to be done with you… does the house take this long to build? Can we go visit you? How do i answer those questions? How do i answer them correctly… w/out crying? Can’t you just come home? I have asked so nicely and fervently…. why does God not answer those prayers? I want you to come home… can you PLEASE come home… please… i am begging you… tell me what i have to do and i will do it……… please baby, I NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

    miki — July 3, 2005 @ 12:15 am

  186. My family and the Garrety family spent quite a few years hanging out together. We also vacationed together and the most memorable was to Mexico, Buena Vista, and Pismo beach. I have such fond memories of those days. We had such a great time water skiing, ATC riding and just hanging out. Thinking back to those days makes me smile. I am so glad I was able to be a part of Tim’s life. He has touched so many lives in such a short time, not too many people can say that.
    Miki, Gavin, Frank, Lynne, and Paula,
    May God bless you and keep you safe. My prayers are with you.
    Brenda (Flores) Conway

    Brenda — June 30, 2005 @ 11:35 pm

  187. Found out about Tim’s passing in a monthly newsletter for the Pierpont Racquet Club. Truly sad news. I remember Tim working at the Club always keeping me and my friends in check. Always happy, always laughing. My deepest condolences for you and your family.

    Steve Wang — June 23, 2005 @ 4:37 pm

  188. I wnat so bad to say that I have come to some terms with all of this, but that’s not true. I don’t cry only because I don’t allow myself to think about it. I walk into The Bridge and there’s a part of me that feels a void and it’s difficult to think of things as moving on. I mean I realized that Tim’s things were being removed today and I realized that if it were up to me that they’d never be taken down. I mean I know that they need to be taken down sooner or later. I can’t look at his photo long without wanting to cry. This is one of those things that remains even if I try so hard to avoid it. It remains there and each time I go to The Bridge or see his photo I am reminded of it all. I guess I have a difficult time dealing with death. I only knew Tim for such a short time, but it feels as though I knew him for years. I miss You Tim. Thanks for being a friend and mentor to me.

    Jason Whitaker — June 11, 2005 @ 5:55 pm

  189. tim was a cool guy, he willl be missed by many and his contribution to skate street was awsome, to the world u may be one person but to one person u may be the world

    chris adams — June 11, 2005 @ 12:44 pm

  190. tim,
    i can’t explain what it is that i have been feeling since you left as “adults” we were not so close i feel like a stupid selfish idot for not knowing you better but you can take to heart that your death has taught some of us a lesson we are staying close and talking more than ever i keep talking to your dad and he says he’s okay but i can hear in his words the hurt we are never going to discuss. i didnt know that i would hurt this much its as if you going to god has changed my path totally gary and i were talking and he is in the place i am. we just cant seem to get back to “normal” or our normal i should say. how do we walk on? a word from a family member…..not enough a hug…….no, how do we go forward? after my mom died i found comfort in know i was there when she left this word and my voice was the last she heard but you left so quick……i cant even understand it all your my age we arnt supposed to go not yet we need more time i hope the love that surrounded you here in this world was enough and you found all that you dreamed of i love you and miss you …………..jenn

    jenn — June 10, 2005 @ 3:28 pm

  191. hey there Tim…. I just finished spending 2 weeks with mom, dad, miki and gavin. It was a great time we would sometimes talk about memories with and sometimes just cry but it was great to just do both. Miki is so strong…I know there are days she feels so week without you around but she is a very strong woman and I know you always saw that in her. I got to drive your truck while I was there and rock out to your Green Day CD you left in cd player with Boulavard of Broken Dreams. Which is what this all feels like a bad dream. Mom started talking about her will and it was weird to not have you included…but I told her that I want Miki included since I feel she is a part of you and she is my sibling. Thank you for marrying her and giving the best sister ever because I will need her from here on and Thank you for giving us Gavin. I miss you and think of you every day. There have been things going on in life and I have the urge to call you and I have to constantly remind myself you aren’t there. Oh!how hard that is since you were always just a phone call away. I love you

    Tim's Sister — June 8, 2005 @ 2:49 pm

  192. So much love so much.

    Bryan Newton — June 4, 2005 @ 10:42 pm

  193. Tim, Why won’t you come home? I have been waiting….. I need you for so many diffferent reasons… I just want you to hold me and make it all go away.. this is the longest nightmare.. won’t you help me wake up? I need the sound of your voice and breath on my cheek, I need to touch your beautiful face, I need to be engulfed in your arms, …I need …..you…. I hear your voice telling me not to worry, telling me not to buy this car or that car because they are ugly or unsafe or…, telling me to get up and lock the doors, telling me see if you can wait for the morning to take something for my head… Your voice is so clear on those things… Why won’t you come home…. I miss you…

    miki — June 4, 2005 @ 4:00 am

  194. Today is a tough day… Oh God please be with Miki today as she deals with recalling the celebration of her wedding with Tim. Please help me be whatever Miki needs me to be…. Please hold everyone so tight they can’t help but feel you. Please rewrite this empty page.

    xoxox — May 31, 2005 @ 4:28 am

  195. I never met Tim in person. The few phone conversations we shared were important to me because I knew his advise/ideas were good ones. He knew what he was talking about. I had total respect for him and what he accomplished with Skate Street. I never thought of Skate Street as competition but rather as a place that I could recommend to others knowing they would only have a positive and fun experience. This whole tragic accident has really changed the way I look at life. I am a pretty quiet person and don’t usually like to say anything but I can’t get the sad thoughts out of my head.

    Todd Huber — May 27, 2005 @ 7:42 am

  196. After the bridge two weeks ago I kept thinking about Tim and what a rip off this is. I keep expecting him to show up at the bridge sunday night.. I am having delayed reaction like normally. I was driving and thinking about how many things suck here and wrong happens and how heaven really is better and it’s heaven – shining goodness all around, no more self doubt or any difficulty at all.

    Dave Z — May 26, 2005 @ 5:14 pm

  197. Tim, I saw you in your Dad’s face the other night. Something in the profile, the cheekbone and eye. I miss you. The other night your voice was the soundtrack for a dream I had. In it, I was playing with Gavin on the sidewalk. I wish I could remember what you said. I’m so grateful we both lingered at the bridge after you spoke that last gathering. I don’t know if you got my email but you opened my eyes to something that night. Something crucial. I can’t stop thinking about the conversations we won’t have. Yet I only seem to remember the most trivial ones we did have, like the one about “ER” or how Officer Negative was my favorite band name. Sunday night I saw your mom laughing and that was good to see. I’m trying to believe that I’ll see you again. I wish you could confirm it. I saw that prism in the sky and my heart said, “It’s Tim!” I took a photo of it and it’s on my computer desktop now. Weird things are painful; your laptop in render, the symbol life banner. Our last words to each other were, “Goodnight.” I can’t say goodbye yet.

    michel cicero — May 17, 2005 @ 4:59 pm

  198. Tim- it has been 3 weeks and I am trying to find my barrings in life. I am not sure how to wrap my mind around you being gone. You were my best friend. I can’t stop having this feeling of wanting to call you but the night before last in a dream you kept asking me if I got your message…I can’t seem to figure out what you meant but you also kept telling me everything will be OK. I found comfort in that because it was the same comforting voice I heard when we were talking about how to cope with my disease. I am trying to take care of myself the way you always told me to. I just try to live my life the way you would want me to. Mom and Dad are doing OK they are still having a hard time wrapping their minds around the thought of never seeing you again. Dad wrote this amazing thank you letter to everyone who contributed to Gavin’s trust fund and to those that are helping the family get through this and I could hear the heartache in his words but the ultimate pride he had for you. Tim- I know you are with grandma now..tell her hello. I know I told you the last time we spoke but BUDDY….I love you and I miss you. I can’t wait for the day that I will see you again . I want you to know that I loved being Tim’s little sister it gave me so much pride. Thank you for all your advice..I will hold it dear and use it to make wise decisions. Love you…Paula

    Paula - Tim's little sister — May 12, 2005 @ 8:51 am

  199. I want to understand better so much of what I am feeling. I want to write out the thoughts that are so present upon my mind these days. Tim died Wednesday April 21st 20th and I found out that Thursday morning. A trip back east to visit my mom and nephews was already planned, so I left that Friday. I thought, at that time, that it was not the best of timing considering how much Tim meant to me and the fact that I would not be here for the funeral. Now I can see that it was also a blessing in the strangest of terms. I mean that if I were here for the funeral I would have been consumed by grief. If you know me you know that I am pretty sensitive, so I don’t think I would have been able to deal with it without some space. I needed to that time away so that when I came back I would be able to deal with it in some manner resembling sanity.
    Death is one of thos things that will never be understandable. I mean everyone knows that everyone will die one day but we tend to forget our mortality. We only realize how certain death is when someone closest to us dies. Death is, for us that have a relationship with Christ, have a life after this earthly death. I know that I will go to Heaven after death but I still don’t like the idea of death. I guess the thing that gets to me is the time between death and life. I wonder what happened to Tim the moment he went from this existence to that existence, which is beyond comprehension. Maybe he saw a bright light or maybe he rode a motorcycle up to the gates of Heaven. I don’t know. All I know is that my mind is full of questions. It’s not that I am doubting God our questioning God’s plan because I realize that sometimes it’s best not to understand everything, but to rely on the simple fact that god is in control no matter how much life can seem out of control. I am so sorry for going on and on. What Tim means to me: a lasting impression on my mind, a better understanding of what it truly means to have a heart for God, Love reveled in the actions of a selfless man. I believe that if you wanted to know what God’s presence was like that Time was that example of Christ revealing himself through a humble servant. I do have to end this with the fact that I believe Tim never tried to be anything that he wasn’t and that God used Tim to touch the lives of many including myself, and that he was no different than any other person except that he allowed God to be seen in the way he lived life and not by mere words alone but actions in a life devoted to God.

    Jason Whitaker — May 11, 2005 @ 11:08 pm

  200. I know this is so soon after my other post, but I had to share this. Doing the video for the Brennan Manning Soliton I find myself missing Tim so much. I wonder what he would have said about me operating the switcher. I know he would have something funny to say about it, and that is one of the things that I miss. With Tim his presence in a room changed the mood of that room. He could make the gloomiest room bright.

    Jason Whitaker — May 11, 2005 @ 6:15 pm

  201. I was blessed to know Tim for a short period of time, but during that time he became a very good friend and mentor to me. I don’t know what to think, and I have found it difficult these past weeks to comprehend the fact that Tim has gone to be with Christ. Its strange how the simple moments shared become so much more after someone dies. I can think back to his laughter and sense of humor with joy. I do rejoice in the fact that God allowed me to meet Tim because my life, like so many, has been enriched by Tim. I know that life goes on and one day I will look back on the times I spent in the presence of Tim without tears, but right now all I know is that I miss him. He was a good friend and mentor. My emotions are so strange because I laugh thinking about what Tim would have said if he knew that I operated the video switcher tonight, and I cry because he was not there to say it. I thank God for Tim. I pray that one day I can be as Christ centered as Tim.

    Jason Whitaker — May 10, 2005 @ 11:04 pm

  202. Tim was a really great guy. He was so multi-fasseted.You could have seen him walk by your house and thought, That’s a born leader. He had the ability when you talked to him to make you feel like you were the only person on earth, that you really mattered. I’m gonna miss you. Tim, Why You?

    Sam — May 1, 2005 @ 8:24 pm

  203. Into the deep blue, my friend, into the depth
    Your body is gone; your soul is at rest

    What God called into being, His creation you are now part of…
    Flowing, Playing, Exploring…

    Your soul rests with our Saviour; your memory is present
    A part of you exists with one of His most complex creations.

    How can I gaze at its magnitude without seeing your face?
    Your laughter bursts in every crashing wave…
    I can hear it – echo – echo – echo

    Part you, part God. As He controls the tide, as he controlled your life.
    Both molded together; two things you loved dearly… bittersweet yet so right.

    My heart will ache to look at the Pacific Rim now, but I shall force the glance
    Because in time that pain will become joy. Joy because of the many precious memories
    You brought – in this deep called my mind –
    Flowing, Playing, Exploring…

    Once, I looked for that ocean but couldn’t find it through the fog that covered it like a blanket, as if to keep it warm.
    I was sad that its beauty had been hidden from my eyes.
    Then God spoke softly to my heart and said, “You may not always see it, but I assure you
    My child – My creation is still there and is as beautiful as you remembered. Just like Me (said He)
    I am always here, though you cannot see me. I AM.

    There is so much meaning in that for me, now even more so.

    I am broken because I can’t see you, yet I have comfort because I know where you are.
    I muse at how insignificant I am compared to God, compared to the ocean, compared to you. You who inspired. The frailty of life causes so much sorrow.

    So into the deep blue, my friend, into the depth
    Flowing, Playing, Exploring
    Your body is gone; your soul is at rest.

    Kat — April 28, 2005 @ 3:50 pm

  204. I’m drawn to this web site everyday.

    Tim you were/are an amazing man. I am very glad you and your family have been a part of my life. I pray for Gods guidance and wisdom in taking care of your family. We will gladly, proudly and graciously do that because of what you have done for us. I have been searching for a hero. I know I have found one. I look forward to seeing you once again.

    In Gods time we will all be together again.

    Pam — April 27, 2005 @ 9:28 am

  205. Timaaaa, it has taken 5 full days for me to find the the courage to discribe the impact you made on my life! The anguish, the sorrow that fills my heart at times is unbareable! You had such a distinct place in my life and now that void is unfillable. To so many you were so much. To me you were so much more! Miki says gavin won’t miss out on the things you loved, she is so right! I promise to see to that as do so many of your friends. Hey Tim I’ll make you a deal you take care of mine up there and I’ll take care of yours down here! Miki and Gavin I love you both! “Death is not final with our God”. Tim Garrety

    gavin — April 26, 2005 @ 10:19 pm

  206. Yes, definitely a wound. A severed limb and the dangling nerves haven’t registered the loss.

    michel cicero — April 26, 2005 @ 9:37 pm

  207. “How astonishing it is that language can almost mean,
    and frightening that is does not quite, love we say,
    God, we say, Rome and Tim, we write, and the words
    get it wrong.”

    I do not think words can explain the impact Tim has had on most of our lives and will continue to have on our lives. The emptiness is felt as is the joy of his life. It is a wound to the body of Christ, a shock a why?

    David S — April 26, 2005 @ 4:53 pm

  208. Frank, Lynne, Paula, Miki & Gavin ~
    The loss of Tim is deep and I will never forget the wonderful times we shared growing up. I know that God will give you the strength and comfort to guide you through the diffucult times. I am happy to see what a truly amazing person he became. Tim was always caring, thoughtful and larger than life, his laughter and smile contagious. I will continue to pray for you and your family.

    With much love,
    Dianne Flores-Ward

    Dianne — April 26, 2005 @ 1:05 pm

  209. Hello Everyone
    Please forgive me for posting this here but I’m a bit techno-challenged and still have not learned my way around this web-site and didn’t know where else to post it. With all that has gone on, and is still going on, I was very hesitant to post this at all.
    I have a small showing of some of my work at the Ventura Collage tonight at 7pm. This is merely an invite, not an expectation. I know everyone is still working thru lots of stuff. But I felt like I should at least let you all know.
    Love
    E.J.
    P.S. Anna, I have a piece I’d like to put in the artwalk if that’s still posssible. I can be reached at 258-9121 or bernardtleihmann@tmail.com

    E.J. — April 26, 2005 @ 8:22 am

  210. I don’t know what to say. That’s what I said when my wife asked me if I was going to write something. We went to school together at Buena and played on the football team. Looking back at Tim, when I knew him, I feel like I am echoing what so many others have said. He always had time to give me a ride home from school in his VW. He also invited me to be a part of his haunted house at his parents in high school. I feel like these are jumbled memories, but the truth is I didn’t know the man Tim became. I can tell from everything that I read that he touched many lives. I am blown away and proud to have known him. What I never got to tell Tim is that I know Jesus too. My sincere condolences to Miki, who I have not had the pleasure of meeting, their son, Gavin, and the Garrety family.

    Dan Bradley — April 25, 2005 @ 11:41 pm

  211. Apr 24, 9:00 a.m. Since I received the agonizing news about Tim you have all been on my mind. I know he was your best friend, your son, your father, your brother (in more ways than one) & a mentor to all. So I wanted to express my deepest heartfelt condolences & share some thoughts of Tim w/ you.

    It pains me to realize that so many years have passed by and our paths in life took us in such different directions. I’m sorry & ashamed that it took a tragedy such as this for me to try & get back in touch w/ an old friend. I much regret now not having that opportunity w/ Tim. I have spent many hours reading blogs & articles about Tim’s life. It warms my heart knowing that he always remained true to himself & his beliefs. I am so proud of him & all his accomplishments. He was nothing less than amazing. It was touching, depressing, yet comforting, thru his own words & yours, I became reacquainted w/ an old & very dear friend. I couldn’t resist & found myself pulling out yearbooks & photos of all of us & took a trip down memory lane. Dearest Roger, Clint, Michelle, Sara, etc… my heart aches for you so. You are in my prayers, along w/ the Garrety Family, the Bridge community, SkateStreet. Ventura is at such a loss & will never be the same w/out him.

    There was a time, seems like only yesterday, when Tim & I were best friends. We shared many tears, but thankfully many, many, many laughs together. We had several classes together & would frequently fall asleep during films. We would always burst into laughter when we’d wake pointing out one another’s drool puddles. (One of many fond & goofy memories. )We were always ourselves w/ one another & I will always remember him w/ a smile. We carried each other thru some difficult times & I used to tell him how wonderful he was & one day I knew he would find his soul mate. I regret not ever knowing the love of his life, Miki, or his son Gavin for that matter. (May God & Tim watch over you from above & give you the strength, courage & faith you need today & always.) I can only imagine the amazing husband & father he must’ve been. I’m so thrilled that he did in fact find a woman whom must be as remarkable as he and deserving of his love. Hopefully next time I am in town I can visit the Bridge & SkateStreet & embrace his world. I would love to meet all of you, & reunite w/ some old, but never forgotten, friends. I would love to see you all & continue to share in Tim’s vision.

    Tim will forever inspire & influence all those who knew him. In fact a month ago I had a fall out w/ a friend who did me wrong & I’ve lost sleep over what to do. I haven’t spoken to her since & I was planning on writing her off for good, but considering recent events I’ve realized that life is too precious to harbor hostility & that in comparison this appeared petty. So I asked myself “What would Tim advise me to do? He knew us both & it felt like he was somehow communicating w/ me and encouraging me to make peace, so I called her. I will continue to live my life such as that…What Would Tim Do? WWTD? I know it will make me a better person. After all, he was undoubtedly a messenger from above and a legacy in our time. He was & will always continue to be an inspiration to us all.

    Apr 25, 1:40 p.m. I desperately wanted to be there yesterday to pay my respects and celebrate Tim’s life. I can only imagine the love and admiration that filled that very room. (Instead of flowers we have made a contribution to Gavin’s Memorial Acct.)Unfortunately I couldn’t be there physically because we live hundreds of miles away & our great dane, Tyson, was due to have her 1st litter of pups. In my midst of mourning, thru the miracle of life I received this sign from Tim, telling me to shed my tears & embrace life for all that is glorious & beautiful. I’m sure that is what he wants all of us to do….CELEBRATE LIFE & all it has to offer! While I assisted Tyson w/ her delivery I reveled in the amazement & beauty of everything. The first pup was a male so w/ this little life in hand I smiled & named the pup Tim. Thank you, thank you Tim for still showing me the silver lining in life when I needed it most. You will continue to inspire those who loved & knew you, along w/ countless more lives that you may never know. Although I was not there in person I was definitely w/ everyone in spirit & paying tribute to Tim Garrety, a great man loved by all. My thoughts & prayers are w/ you now & always.

    Laura Klemm — April 25, 2005 @ 6:55 pm

  212. Tim,
    Although our time together was short compared to time you shared with the many we are mutually close to (and so many more who I don’t know), my heart and gut aches at the absence of one who I too have called my brother…..as the emotions, sights and sounds of the gathering of so many whose lives you touched still lingers in me….. It’s Monday now, a day when we would have spoken either on the phone or via email about the ad for SkateStreet/The Loft in this week’s VCReporter as well as many other things. So many random memories come rushing to mind, Praying together before shared lunches, Meeting at your favorite “office” (Starbucks) to discuss your/our plans for marketing SkateStreet in the future, Discussing how to sell your TV commercial production ideas, Sharing conversation about and prayer for our wives and kids and community, memories of you encouraging me so much as a follower of Christ ,a father, a husband, drummer & salesman and believing and trusting in my abilities!, Planning for the future Merge events and how to keep the focus on the kids having a special event they could call their own!! Your expressed, deep care and concern for the financial well being of my family and providing an opportunity for me to do more for them! We were going to have lunch this week and discuss your new visions for SkateStreet/The Loft and we were to have dinner together with our families soon. All this to say.. I love you brother, I saw you, the person, your heart, your passion and will not forget the way you gave your time, love, friendship and respect. It is an honor to have worshiped ,worked and dreamed alongside you, Tim! Your devotion and caring for Micki and Gavin continues to inspire me to be more compassionate and serve those I profess to love with such a more defined intent. Your quiet strength and leadership of the Bridge community will always be one of the most powerful examples to me of that which I aspire to!! Your creativity, and enthusiasm for the creativity in others (Like my Michel, whose writing and heart you loved and encouraged practically on a daily basis…I can never thank you enough for caring so much for the love of my life) within and without our community will shine on in events you fostered like The Written World and so much more…You continue to point the way to Christ as that being about relationship…even now!
    I/we now look forward to sharing life with and caring for Micki as well as helping to raise Gavin to know his father through our stories, love and lives in Christ.
    See you in Paradise, TG.
    Love,
    TC

    Tony Cicero — April 25, 2005 @ 2:24 pm

  213. Miki, im very sorry, and want you to know that i pray to God to give you and little Gavin the strength to go through this difficult time

    Zainab Siddiq — April 25, 2005 @ 9:26 am

  214. The the bridge family
    (my new home, should you permit)

    Where to begin??? I am so new here it is hard even to speak. I barely knew Tim, yet I new him so well. For from the moment I met him I felt as though I were in my daughters presence. For both of them ooozed the grace, the beauty, and the love of God. Tim and I rode together a few times and he was my point of contact to try and get the leadership of my old church in Vegas hooked up with the leadership of the bridge. And for months now I have been boasting to my son of this incredible guy that I wanted him to come out and meet and ride with. I have not even told him of Tim’s homegoing. Funny, Angel never called it heaven, she always referred to it as home and someone in the memorial used that same phrase. I dont know how to tell Micah. I crindge at the thought. For three of the most incredible people my son has ever known have all been taken from him in tragic accidents. He no longer believes in a loving God.
    I disintigrated when I realized the song chosen for the invitation. That song, and the movie it was the theme song to, came out just weeks after my daughters death. Sorry, Im rambling.
    What I really got on here to do was respond to PK’s post. Of all the wonderful things written here the past several days hers hit me hardest.
    PK, I agree you, we have been ripped of by satan. And because we have been ripped off so severely we need to be mega pissed. We need to fight harder than ever before. Little did the devil know that when he killed Jesus he pissed off some very determined men and women. They in turn turned thier world upside down and prevailed against the very gates of hell.
    The first thing I got thouroughly pissed at was my own complacency and passivity. This event has marked me permanently, I will never be the same. We do need to become the love, the compassion, that Christ said would be the proof of His existance. He didn’t say miracles were the proof, or fancy church buildings with our names on them, or elequant sermons. He said they (the world) will know I am who I say I am by the love you have for one another. That is what I see at the bridge, that is what I want to become. I want to plug in, I want to serve, I want to fight.
    I have no phone numbers of anyone but Tim and Billy so I hope it’s ok to ask this here. I need to talk to Anna(about art walk), an elder, (if you use that term/ you know what I mean, where to plug in) and someone in charge of Skate Street(I would love to be involved)as soon as possible. I want to fight and fight hard. I just need some marching orders.
    I can be reached at 258-9121 or bernardtleihmann@tmail.com
    Love You All
    E.J.
    P.S.
    Miki, we’ve never met, but I want to thank you for sharing someone so amazing with so many people. My heart breaks for you and Gavin, no, it anguishes with unspeakable lement and groanings to deep to utter. May God fill you with HIS presence as never before.

    E.J. — April 25, 2005 @ 7:50 am

  215. What a way to bring everyone together! Every faith, age, and walk of life, all with a common theme – their love, respect, and admiration for you. It has been five years since I was your employee, and until recently, nearly that long since I had seen you. It became a joke when we ran into each other three times in one day, in various places, and I was fortunate to have been able in some small way (as your friendly neighborhood pub server) to be one of the many you touched with your vitality and passion for life and Christ. I know that you will be ever present in the lives of those you honored with your time, love, and friendship.

    Jen Pugh — April 25, 2005 @ 3:03 am

  216. Tim…

    I’ve put this off, but find that my time to melt is rapidly approaching. You’d be proud of the way the community has come together in love, honor and service these last few days…you’d be especially proud of Miki.

    Strohm wanted to see you one last time, so I brought him by the “viewing”. Some tears. He misses his friend too. He realized that you were already gone, and is struggling with the fact that he can’t see you for a long time. I know that Gavin will walk through these things too, and hope that maybe Strohm will share some of his experience when the time is right.

    Just cleared the 4th – 7th off my calendar. It hurt to realize that we won’t be going on our Tahoe ride. We had a lot of great road mapped out…maybe later, but not with you. So many thoughts, so many memories, so much road to cover, so much life to live. Too much of everything without my friend.

    Going to try and get some sleep tonight. It’s been hard to find lately. I love you, I miss you. I pray that God will walk close to us all these next few weeks ’cause they’re going to suck.

    David — April 24, 2005 @ 10:26 pm

  217. tim, what to say. Words only begin to scratch the surface. You not only inspired me, but so many others. You make me want to be so much more than i ever could have imagined and you believed in me way before i believed in what God could do in and through me. You will be missed, but your legacy will continue through the thousands of people you touched and the thousands and thousands those people will touch. much love brother..- andy

    Andy — April 24, 2005 @ 10:05 pm

  218. never really got to know you but i love your dad , so i love you. Hector

    Hector — April 24, 2005 @ 9:16 pm

  219. Tim- you really inspired me in alot of ways. You were a man of passion,vision and creativity. I admired the vision you manifested into reality through your closeness with our Creator. I never got the chance to tell you I believed in your vision and have been inspired by all you did.
    I want to thank you for interviewing me for a position in the retail store after the remodel. Thank you for the opportunity.
    After seeing the legacy you have left behind and learning more about you through your experience with others in our family, I can honestly say I wish I would have gotten to spend more time with you, but soon enough. I am stoked (and jealous) for you. I’ll see you in a while. Thank you.

    Anonymous — April 24, 2005 @ 9:10 pm

  220. The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.

    Pascal — April 24, 2005 @ 8:48 pm

  221. Man, Tim was such a real person. He was honest with me all the time and was never in too much of a hurry to say hi and listen to me.

    Anonymous — April 24, 2005 @ 8:39 pm

  222. My Candel burns at both ends
    It will not last the night
    but ah my foes and
    oh my friends it gives a
    lovely light.

    Aaron — April 24, 2005 @ 8:25 pm

  223. Tim was really cool he was always nice and kind.

    Ali Patrick — April 24, 2005 @ 8:23 pm

  224. Our hearts are filled with sorrow today – our minds a blur. I am sitting at my computer – 200 miles away from my old hometown… thinking of the place where my two boys used to skate. “Way cool” was their words to describe the environment and teaching there. “Way cool” was the man that would come up to them and talk to them. Now that man is forever gone in body, but will always be there in spirit.

    Our prayers and thoughts are with the family in this difficult time. I am so thankful that there is the love and support from so many people. God will give you strength to carry on and know that Tim is always with you….

    God bless all of you…….

    Susi — April 24, 2005 @ 8:22 pm

  225. Tim was cool. He taught me tons of things, to bad he wern’t here to teach me more.

    Andrew Gillespie2 — April 24, 2005 @ 8:19 pm

  226. Tim was a great loving, and caring guy. I’ll miss him always, and look up to his example in his many talents and abilities for I will never forget Mr. Garrety.
    love always,
    Andrew

    Andrew Gillespie — April 24, 2005 @ 8:10 pm

  227. glad he is in heaven , sad he is gone.

    brendan patrick — April 24, 2005 @ 8:03 pm

  228. A mentor I hardly knew …..you made a IMPACT on my life i’ll never forget…

    este — April 24, 2005 @ 7:58 pm

  229. Uncle Tim(he’s not really my uncle.) was very very good to our family. he was really nice. i cried alot when he died. Uncle tim i miss you, and im praying for miki and gavin as much as i can.

    Shayde Bridges — April 24, 2005 @ 7:49 pm

  230. Consider the Lilies….

    Thank you Tim for sharing the joy of your life and faith with me and with so many on this short journey.

    “Follow the Leader”

    Norm Daniels — April 24, 2005 @ 7:39 pm

  231. Tim, even in this season away from the Bridge, you have been in my heart. The future promise of sitting, talking, listening, and laughing with you has now turned into a flood of tears and disbelief.
    I will deeply miss you, and I thank you for your consistent pursuit and example of Christ-likeness.
    My deepest thoughts and prayers are with Miki, Gavin, Greg, Michelle, and all of Tim’s dear friends.
    God, please hold them close and give them your strength and hope.
    -Vince

    Vince Campi — April 24, 2005 @ 6:51 pm

  232. I was struck by this quote by Tim, in the midst of his own loss of a child through miscarriage. Possibly we can find some glimmer of encouragement or hope in his own words left to us. Let our appetite become unquenchable.

    “So we will…dream another dream. It’s amazing how when you begin to reflect upon your blessings, your losses become like a vapor. While the scent of loss still lingers, our appetite for God’s blessings has become more unquenchable.” -Tim Garrety

    Martha Bangs — April 23, 2005 @ 10:16 pm

  233. Hi Jared W. I sent a message earlier to the wrong Jared. If you get this post please call me at 258-9121.
    Love
    E.J.

    E. J. — April 23, 2005 @ 6:18 pm

  234. My post was supposed to follow JaredB and is in response to JaredB and the David Lehr thread. The “you ” in my thread is for the entire community.

    The position of my my post looks like I responded to Miki’s post – I was not.
    You post Miki happened to pop up in front of mine.
    Kathy and my prayer is the same though.

    Dave Z — April 23, 2005 @ 4:03 pm

  235. Miki, Gavin, Frank, Lynne, Paula, Jason and the rest of my family

    I’m so sorry that I cannot be with you all right now physically but please know that you are with me in my every thought and that the prayers are constant and will continue. I feel so blessed to have known Tim and to have been accepted so lovingly into your family when I married Uncle Mike. It was the love and respect that I saw between you and Tim that gave me such great inspiration as Michael and I began our lives together and little Gavin, well he’s the angel that always brings me a smile and warms my heart.

    I’m spending the weekend with my son’s and yes, Miki I will be going to church in the morning and sharing with the church family that I had drifted from after my own divorce, I know Tim would be happy.

    I love you all so very much and a part of me is there with you now. Please know as the days grow longer and the crowds return to their own lives that I’m always here and will keep in touch and some day soon, Uncle Mike and I will be visiting and spending time with you all.

    I treasure my few memories of Tim and as I work on that dissertation on digital storytelling I’ll regret that I don’t have Tim there to answer not only the techie questions but the focus questions but his spirit will be there with me as I sometimes cuss at my Macintosh and try and learn Final Cut Pro….

    I smile at the memories of our Christmas in Kansas City with the lights and Gavin’s face as he saw the glitter on the horse’s hooves and will always remember the love and joy in all of your faces.

    Know that I am with you all this weekend in spirit and that I’m always only a phone call or email away..and please give Gavin a special kiss from his Aunt Cynthia in Iowa….

    you are loved…each of you

    Cynthia

    Aunt Cynthia — April 23, 2005 @ 4:01 pm

  236. Much grief translated to intellectual constructs, musing reasons, trying to make sense inside, trying to come to conclusions, balancing it all and weighing it, not getting the answer desired , here.

    On this side we may never know the whys of millions of questions.
    In HIS Kingdom it wil be right and good and holy.
    Even knowing an answer will not provide comfort for the sorrow and outrage.

    Thru my own small minor trials now I can only get a very small glimpse of Job, a tiny emphathy seansoned by this modern world. .

    Lately the only way I can get through the hard things that have come is to worship Him pushing into the mystery of His Spirit, still pain has persisted.

    In HIS Kingdom it wil be right and good and holy.

    CS Lewis dealt with much of this in his book – ” The Problem of Pain ”
    None of the above that I have written can really help or provide and is so many words.

    The only satisfaction I have found- GOD

    May He come into the palace of your heart in those rooms that need Him, since you are His child and you have given Him persission to take over I hope and pray that HE now this season shows up univited unexpected to help you. I cry with you all.

    May the God of All Comfort now comfort you.

    Dave Z — April 23, 2005 @ 3:21 pm

  237. Tim,

    I am not sure where to start… I love you and miss you so much. You are my best friend… what do you do when your best friend is gone…

    I talked to Gavin the next day. He is so smart… he said that daddy was helping God build our new house and that you needed to take care of the baby we lost. It is so hard to know that he will miss out on so much with his daddy… He wont’t miss out on any of you or the things you loved. Our friends will make sure of that… who is going to fix those patio doors? Who is going to show me how to work all of your things?

    You are my everything…thank you for leaving me the best part of you…Gavin. I love you forever.

    Miki

    Miki — April 23, 2005 @ 3:14 pm

  238. Oh Timmy, watch over us all, and help guide the way. God wanted you for some reason, for a differant purpose, a reason unknown.Shine down upon all of us.
    PK, I would like to talk with you, can you please e mail me?

    casey — April 23, 2005 @ 2:36 pm

  239. In the Sun

    http://rarepg.com/pg/PG%20-%20In%20The%20Sun.mp3

    I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
    And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
    And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
    And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

    May god’s love be with you
    Always
    May god’s love be with you

    I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
    ’cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
    But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
    I picture you fast asleep
    A nightmare comes
    You can’t keep awake

    May god’s love be with you
    Always
    May god’s love be with you

    ’cause if I find
    If I find my own way
    How much will I find
    If I find
    If I find my own way
    How much will I find
    You

    I don’t know anymore
    What it’s for
    I’m not even sure
    If there is anyone who is in the sun
    Will you help me to understand
    ’cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
    Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
    Any more than me

    May god’s love be with you
    Always
    May god’s love be with you

    JasonB — April 23, 2005 @ 12:57 pm

  240. A dear friend said sometime that I had repeat. God did not create death, the devil did. God didn’t want Tim to die. Tim did alot of good for alot of people and the devil did not like it. Sure God will turn this sadness into his good over time, but for now, be mad at the devil because God did not do this.

    David Lehr — April 23, 2005 @ 12:56 pm

  241. ~33~

    It’s such a rip off
    God doesn’t do this
    He may allow it
    But He is not the author of it.

    And because it’s such a rip off
    We will only fight harder against the evil in this world.
    We will fight harder for the Invisible Children of Uganda
    Fight against injustice in every corner of the world even here.

    We will show compassion
    No we will become compassion
    We will love and embrace the outcasts, the lonely, and the good, bad and ugly
    We will become love by God’s mercy and grace.

    We will stop the grumbling, the bickering, the accusing, and the hate
    Take a good look in the mirror
    Man’s life is but a breath
    a gift a light to the world.

    First for us that compassion and love goes out to Amanda
    That God will fill her heart, that must be breaking and protect her mind
    Miki’s heart is already full of love and compassion for this girl.
    Miki and Gavin you are Love.

    I see Tim standing in Heaven holding his other child
    Just as he held Gavin here on earth
    Laughing, same smile on his face only bigger
    God we promise to do better
    Thank you for sharing Tim with us.

    God thank you that your grace covers this
    Ragamuffin PK

    p.s. If Tim were here he would extend this invitation to you
    For anyone out there who is hurting, lonely needs a hug.
    We are the bridge a family a community of love and compassion.
    Come let us love you…………….

    83 S. Palm
    Ventura 93001
    805.641.2872
    http://www.thebridgecommunities.org/

    pk — April 23, 2005 @ 12:44 pm

  242. In response to anonymous 9:55. Acts 9:36-43 Do we dare believe?
    Is this what’s in your heart Father? Speak to us.
    Is there a Peter among us? Lord, if not, will you send us one?
    Let us not fear the thoughts of others, nor enter into their fears or unbelief.
    Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief.

    anonymous — April 23, 2005 @ 11:12 am

  243. Disbelief, anguish, bewilderment, confusion, denial, anger, mixed with faith, gratitude, peace of mind, worship, and intense love. Our soul wrestles to make sense of it all. Struggles great enough to reduce the strongest men to puddles of tears and anguish. How do we channel this great flood of intense emotions that are spilling ove the banks of our soul? How will they glorify God? How is the kingdom of God going to benefit from this tragic untimely death? Is there something that could display His great mercy and awesome power not seen by this nation, this generation? Can we as a people of God reach beyond ourselves, our comfort zone, our experience, our unbelief, and into the very heart of God? Why did He allow this to happen to one such as Tim, one so full of grace, so needed by his family and bretheren? Is it possible God is providing us with an opportunity to experience the unimaginable? Is it possible that God has a response that we are overlooking? One so awesome that we tremble in disbelief and suppress it’s very thought. Do we dare think such things? Do we dare believe? We ask ourselves, is it actually possible? My response is YES. Jesus did it, Peter did it, Paul did it, Wigglesworth did it, many others have done it around the world, and I know of one who has done it.
    We need only to trust, to believe. It is almost commonplace in other nations, why not ours?
    So in our great pain, our intense grief, our struggle to believe, let us reach into the very heart of God and ask Him what He wants us to believe for, what does He want to do. Then ask this question, what is my part Father in bringing glory to your name. Knowing that He will do that which best for His children, His Kingdom.
    These are thoughts possibly not meant for everyone. I but I trust they will reach those they are intended for, whomever they may be.
    For those who have ears to hear, let them hear.

    anonymous — April 23, 2005 @ 9:55 am

  244. Tim touched my life on several occassions. When my father was hospitalized last year- Tim called me up and prayed over me, while everyone at the Bridge supported me in prayer. Tim put his hand on my shoulder and asked that “Angels” be sent to the room. I knew as soon as he touched me and said that- my father would make it. He did! I saw Tim a few weeks later and greeted him with a big smile and told him thanks. I shared how my father survived and he seemed delighted. I wonder why Tim had to go? Tim orchestrated the healing and prayers over me and for my father- and yet Tim is gone. I don’t understand?

    Tim’s message on Sunday was powerful. He was so nervous about delivering the ‘wrong’ message. I was painting and trying to communicate through telepathy to him “Tim, as long as you speak from your heart- you will never say the wrong thing.” I believe Tim always spoke from his heart. That last Sunday was another very religious, spiritual and complete surrendering to God for me. It was a very hard night for me, and I fell to the floor surrendering to God in a way I never had. Tim was the faciliator that night. I then painted after crying and felt peaceful after Tim’s sermon. I believe Tim touched so many lives. He touched mine deeply and I am so grateful.

    When I found out he passed, I went into extreme shock and couldn’t stop crying. I was in a daze the rest of the day. I can’t believe he’s gone. I pray for Miki, Gavin and his family and the bridge community. Tim is so loved and touched so many people’s lives. I don’t know why? I don’t know why Tim? I don’t know why now? It doesn’t make sense, but perhaps in time we will all understand. I think the only comfort I get is knowing Tim is resting under God’s wing.

    Ali — April 22, 2005 @ 8:10 pm

  245. I think Dave Martinez said it best…

    Tim you are my Superman. You are the Father I wish I could someday be… The husband I could only attempt to be… And the friend that goes beyond words…

    So many moments in just this last week with you… We sat a week today at the same computer I type this from working on some great stuff… No one around. Just me, you… Then Sunday comes and I was able to work along side you in Greg’s absence… I like the fact that you let me know a day in advance on what you needed for Sunday. Much easier to work with you than all that last minute stuff… :P

    But thats who you were. Getting it done. And getting it done well. “Beauty in the details”. Right Tim?

    This office is filled with your love and work poured into every corner. Everyday I come to work you will be here for me. Thanks Tim for everything… For the chats… For my robocop gun… For coming to the hospital out of your busy day when I was ill… You gave me my robocop award… For poking at me and my expensive video card… For sticking by my side during April Fools… For wearing you baggy pants and big shoes… I could go on and on… But just thanking you, my friend.

    You are my Superman. Better yet… You are my Robocop.

    Love you… and Mike and Gavin you are so loved…

    Anonymous — April 22, 2005 @ 4:10 pm

  246. Even in his final breath Tim was affecting people, changing lives. So much to remember, so much to reflect on. I found Tim to be exceedingly humble and deliberate and responsible in his communications. His character has left an indelible imprint on my life. He made Christ touchable. My heart is laden and my head pulsing with the moments spent in his presence and the moments to come when memory will have to suffice. Tim, you didn’t waste a second. Not even one. Miki & Gavin, you are so loved. May you find comfort and rest…

    michel cicero — April 22, 2005 @ 3:34 pm

  247. all i can say is that 11 short years was not enough of you! you will always be like my big brother, i will always love you and miss you! i know you and jun are now cracking jokes. you have effected my life in words i can’t explain. Miki, gavin, lynn and frank will be well taken care of! i just can’t wait to see you again, I LOVE YOU!

    cynthia engle — April 22, 2005 @ 3:12 pm

  248. Tim,
    What kind of computer should I buy? How do I get my Pictures to have more color contrast? How can I get better gas mileage on my gas guzzler? how should I confront an issue with this person? What should I eat on Atkins? Why does my computer keep crashing? and of coarse Do you want to play vollyball? followed by your response of Do you want to Jam? (only you’ll get that one). No matter what the question you always had an answer for me. you were so knowledgable and so wise. You always had time for me, even when you didnt have time. Im so glad I had a chance to give you a hug and a little pat on the butt on sunday. Never would have imagined it would be the last. You were a model husband, a model father and an incredibe friend. Truly a SUPERMAN!!! Im going to miss you so so much…….. I love you.

    David M — April 22, 2005 @ 2:38 pm

  249. My son and I were at the accident scene having just left the shopping center. We saw the firemen begin CPR and while I did not know who they were working on or Tim personally, I DID know and could definitely feel the Spirit there so very strongly.

    Sue

    Sue Turner — April 22, 2005 @ 2:30 pm

  250. Tim, God will hold those so dear to you close to His Heart until that day when we will see you again on the banks of the Jordan.

    SEE YOU IN THE MORNING

    Pam Thum & Marty Magehee

    I think of you, remembering our times
    The laughter, the love
    We never planned to say goodbye
    And some times I cry

    But yesterday’s gone and we know
    It won’t be long until forever comes
    But we share this hope
    That we still have a home
    Where we will meet again
    Until then

    I will see you in the morning
    Just inside heaven’s door
    I will see you in the sunrise
    Over on a brighter shore

    No more tears, no more pain
    In a far better place
    I will miss you till then
    Oh, but I promise you again
    I will see you in the morning
    I will see you in the morning

    So many lives are changed
    Because of you
    You live so close, to the God
    Who now holds you
    Your dreams have come true

    But yesterday’s gone and we know
    It won’t be long until forever comes
    We share this hope
    That we still have a home
    Where we will meet again
    Until then

    I will see you in the morning
    Just inside heaven’s door
    I will see you in the sunrise
    Over on a brighter shore

    No more tears, no more pain
    In a far better place
    I will miss you till then
    Oh, but I promise you again
    I will see you in the morning

    Deep in my heart
    It’s so hard to let you go
    But the Father has a purpose
    And I know

    I will miss you till then
    But I promise you again
    I will see you in the morning
    I will see you in the morning

    pk — April 22, 2005 @ 12:56 pm

  251. I dont have words.

    But as long as my heart keeps beeping I will always love you and never forget you and what you meant to my life and many many others…

    Jon Hickenbottom — April 22, 2005 @ 12:45 pm

  252. I had only spoke with Tim a couple times, but the times that I did, he made you feel like you were the only person on the planet. The humility of Tim was unbelievable. My prayers go out to the Bridge family as you traverse through this difficult time

    Ryan — April 22, 2005 @ 11:47 am

  253. tim, i remember the random lunch at mcdonalds best. our conversations weren’t all that frequent, dispite seeing eachother and saying hi each week, but when we did talk, it felt like we talked all the time. we just connected that way, and i suspect that’s just the open, pure way you always connect with people. love ya, man.

    nstryker — April 22, 2005 @ 11:30 am

  254. Sadness and crying were my initial reaction to hearing the news, but just as soon as I felt these feelings I felt another. Thankfulness. I thanked God for giving me years of knowing Tim.

    Tim was my mentor. He showed me what it was like to live a Godly life and be a Godly man. . When I approached him with news in my life, he would often respond with: “and have you prayed about this – to thank God and/or ask him for strength? I learned from him what the verse: “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and then all will be added” means. Tim was blessed in life with a wonderful family, friends, and job – after first following God.

    I still have the first note he wrote me when we were first becoming friends 13 short years ago. In it he thanked me for not being afraid to set an example – which is like a hundred dollar bill telling a nickel it is worth a lot of money.

    I often looked to Tim for examples of the right way to do things. The area that was and is most important to me was in choosing the right woman to marry. When Tim first described Miki to me and later his decision to get married, I internally made a list of qualities and prerequisites for my future wife and myself. I still remember him telling me (and everyone else) “I would be nervous or scared if I thought I was marrying the wrong woman – but I’m not – and I’m overjoyed.” I didn’t quite believe him at the time, but on my wedding day I did believe him.

    Tim was my friend. Tim always had time for me – be it to share a burrito, a talk, a laugh, or a prayer. I hadn’t seen him much over the past several years, but when I did it was as if it was only a day since we’d last spoke. The last time I saw him he wanted to do lunch – that’s a meeting I plan to keep, just not for sometime (God willing). Our last conversation was about marriage and his astonishment that he was going to Parent – Teacher meetings now. I told him I wasn’t quite ready for kids. His last thoughts to me were on the blessings that marriages are and that children can bring to their parents. So, when the time for kids comes, I’m sure that he’ll be right about that too.

    As I fight back the tears, I also have to smile at the times I shared with Tim. I will continue to pray for strength for us all and thank God for sharing his servant Tim with me and showing me the love of God through him. Thank you too Tim.

    Jack Futoran — April 22, 2005 @ 10:37 am

  255. After walking through yesterday with Miki, her prayer at days end was for Amanda. If anyone knows how to contact her please let me know. Miki has only compassion for her and that needs to be known and felt by Amanda. I can not imagine the place that Amanda is in, but she needs love and support in this hour. Remember her in your prayers as Miki has.

    David — April 22, 2005 @ 10:17 am

  256. Psalm 34:18
    The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
    I am praying for the family and friends Tim left behind, that as you grieve and mourn, you would feel the close touch and comfort of the Lord.

    Sarah — April 22, 2005 @ 10:13 am

  257. Dear Friends and family of Tim Garrety,
    I find myself writing this out of a deep sense of loss, pain, and ?’s. Out of a need to express the profundity of respect and appreciation I have for a man that is a truly a man of God. Who’s life and example I wistfully desire to emulate. Tim was a remarkable man. He was a visionary, an entrepreneur, a self-sacrificial giver, a talented artist, business-man, and dreamer who actually was able to make his dreams come to fruition by hard work and relying on God’s wisdom and provision. He was a man to model one’s life after.
    My words and thoughts are inadequate to express the sense of loss, anger, sorrow, and grief that so many of us are now feeling. I was in shock to receive the news of this…………….this passing, this transition of one so young and dear to so many people. Who’s life was making and still will make such an immeasurable impact. I thought, “No!!!! What is this? Some kind of sick Joke? How can this be? OOOOH! Miki and gavin? What about them God? Why? What about the bridge? How can this happen twice to the same community in less than a year?” But this is all selfishness for me. God wanted his son to come home for whatever reason. Or maybe this wasn’t God’s will, and it just happened because of our fallen nature and our evil that so often comes out of our free will. I don’t claim to understand this at all, please forgive me as I us the forum to wrestle w/ my thoughts and emotions. I don’t know the circumstances of the “accident,” but assume someone must have been driving recklessly, didn’t see him in time, and creamed him. This is the second friend and brother we have lost in less than a years time to motorcycle accidents. Phil, and all you other guys that ride, please for the sake of your families and community, please be more careful, and say a prayer consulting our Father each time before you decide to ride.
    We can only hope and pray that God will use this tragedy and the bridge communities remembrance of Tim’s life, to bring all those involved and many others into intimacy with Him. I can’t help but think selfishly, “Why can’t I be there, why couldn’t I have still been there? Maybe I could have done something to prevent this.” But alas, my life is not the kind like Tim’s that makes those kind of differences in others lives. I miss you Tim, I miss you Greg, I miss you Clint, I miss you Cory, I miss you Keith.
    Remember on the way home from Soliton in Seattle, when Tim was driving the Skate Street van, and there was an Alanis Morrisette song on the radio, and Tim made the hilarious observation that she sings like she has tourette’s? Then proceeded to demonstrate that? I will never forget that memory or Tim’s sense of humor. That was one of the funniest things I’ve witnessed. Thank you God for letting me witness your nature through Tim’s life. I miss you all. Blessings and peace. I love you momma and poppa Garrety. My heart goes out to you Miki and little Gavin. I still can’t really believe it.

    Matt S. — April 22, 2005 @ 9:42 am

  258. The morning after as I was opening my bible, I turned to John 9:3 …”and Jesus said, ‘but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.’”

    Thank you God…. it helps (a little) but I am reminded of how Tim’s life displayed the work of God consistently! That work will not end because he is no longer among us. It will be passed on and on… Gavin will always know what a wonderful man of God his father is! Tim’s legacy will be not be forgotten!

    That is the spiritual side of us that is being rational and praising God for Tims’ life….. however, the emotional side of us is tormented and our hearts are aching… a feeling we know too well since the loss of our other friend, Jun. Chris and I are morning the loss of one of the best friends we’ve ever had! Tim & Miki have been part of our lives like peanut butter & jelly! We just spent time together celebrating Chris’ birthday…. talking about the future…. when we’re old and gray and screaming at kids to “get off my lawn” and when Addison & Gavin get into trouble together (which is still going to happen I just know it) hee hee

    These will make no sense to most…. but to us…. these are some of our fondest and silliest memories!

    Smells like infection; The “F” word debate; the “More people should be like me” debate; meow and the songs that went with it; Hospital slumber parties with Miki; The three hour tour on the bike…. which turned into about ten hours (Dan will remember that one); the mini movies we created together; the big screen movies we saw together; Tatonkas; Guinesses; Black and Tan; Text messaging mania; Pismo Beach; His calmer than a pond attitude even in the middle of a tidal wave of stress; It’s a small world…. Disneyland will never be the same…

    And THE JACKET…. oh God, the jacket. Who is going to wear the jacket now?

    Tim, we can’t even begin to imagine life without you and we just don’t want to! I’m sure you know that Miki and Gavin are being well taken care of and always will be…. you have so many people who love you both so very much! WE miss you…. I see you holding your child…. I see you telling our children about our fun times together…. I see you hugging Jun! Thank you Jesus for those images!!!! We will see you dear friend… in God’s time, we will see you again!

    oxoxoxo
    Chris & Kat

    Kat & Chris Wyneken — April 22, 2005 @ 9:23 am

  259. …getting the text message sitting in the middle of a Las Vegas casino, it was just an unbelievable shock to the system…a man i hardly knew but loved and respected, whom i had just heard speak at church last Sunday–was dead…the tears burst forth uncontrollably, replaced by hollow shock…so far away from those who could provide comfort, i could only trust that the God Tim loved and reflected was ready to see His son…unimaginable….my heart aches for all those who loved him so deeply, and my feeble words mean little, but I can only trust the God of all comfort to bring this family and community into His arms….

    Andi — April 22, 2005 @ 1:41 am

  260. Tim, you’re all I’ve been able to think about the entire day looooong. Flashing back to the many rides we’ve shared, both in the desert and on the track. I Remember lying on a hospital bed in a hallway in Valencia. With a broken collar bone and collapsed lung, after a crash @ I-5 MX, the 1st thing you asked me when you arrived was “has anyone prayed”? Without reservation, in an extremely busy pathway, you grabbed my hand and prayed for Gods provision, protection and understanding. I received all of those things that day. That was a man who knew his God.

    Last summer on our trip down to ride Lake Elsinore, we talked about many things. One of which was a huge decision I was needing to make, regarding my involvement in church. You gave me your recomendation. It took me almost a year, however I eventually made that decision and it turned out to be a good one. That advice came from a man who knew his God.

    As I read all these other post’s, I know without a doubt – This Man who knew his God is, now with his God. Enjoy his company Jesus, we’ll miss him immensely.

    Aaron — April 22, 2005 @ 12:37 am

  261. Tim, I am just so overwhelmed with the loss of you. You have always been such an inspiration and encouragement to me. At Skate Street working with you daily for five years, then sharing in the joy that both Miki and I were pregnant with boys at the same time, the birth of Gavin and Ari. At the Bridge you always encouraged me to worship our God through dance. Thank you, thank you for all that you have meant to so many people. Such a precious gift to us. I will miss you so much.

    nicole — April 21, 2005 @ 11:34 pm

  262. Every time my husband and I visited the Bridge Tim and Miki were one of the people I always remember being sure to say hi. In my early christian days Tim was someone I looked up to. I still did, just didn’t see him very often. I have tears, Tim had character that left a mark with everyone that he passed. I pray that God would give Tim’s family and friends a peace and joy that can only come from the Lord in a time like this.

    Dawn — April 21, 2005 @ 10:12 pm

  263. did not truly know this man, but I saw and still see the fruits of his labor and faith. My prayers are with the family. Thank you to all of those who helped him turn out the way he did. He most certainly left a legacy.

    lucas — April 21, 2005 @ 9:24 pm

  264. In an east coast hotel room with tears to the ground and fist to the sky, this is not right

    Greenberg — April 21, 2005 @ 9:00 pm

  265. TIM GARRETY
    3-5-72 – 4-20-05

    A LIGHT THAT WILL SHINE BEYOND TOMORROW

    in his son’s eyes,
    in the woman who loved him,
    in the woman who birthed him,
    in the man who raised him,
    in the vision of skate street,
    in the bridge family that supported him,
    and the world he touched forever.

    A saint does not leave this earth without affecting it
    with the love & compassion of Jesus.

    pk — April 21, 2005 @ 8:42 pm

  266. Tim

    I miss you so much! I am so grateful for the gift you were in my life. Tim you taught me so much. You are a world shaker and you do it thru individuals. I admire you so much.. In life you made a difference to those around you without prequalification. TIM NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You made such an impact on me and I feel so honored to have the close friendship we have, I will remember the many talks about life family, Jesus, parenting, cell phones, events, work, ministry, diets, computers, tools, motorcycles, cars, designs, websites, surfing, skating snowboarding, music, friends, mentors, high school, kids and the future forever.

    We were supposed to be on rocking chairs together when we were old.
    The porch will be so lonely with out you. I wish I could tell you how strong you wife is being right now… and how your family & friends are taking care of everything. Including each other. Miki made your arrangements today. I have been in survival mode half of the time and in agony the other half. You were a brother to me and I long to see you again, When I get to heaven I will see you again.
    My thoughts and emotions are fighting me I cant let them out in a pshycal manner or I wont be able to stop them and breaking things wouldn’t honor you..
    I am scattered without words I have cried so much today. I went in you home office and sat on the floor and felt like I was dry heaving.. It has been just over 24 hours since you accident I am sorry I wasn’t their with you..
    I love you Tim!!!!!

    Dan McGranahan — April 21, 2005 @ 8:26 pm

  267. Tim,

    Thanks for living so well in front of me. Love you, praying now,
    hoping now, for Miki and Gavin and Lynn and Frank, How vulnerable,
    OH GOD come down to them let THEM SEE your FACE be as real to them
    as you are to Tim right now, Let your JOY fill the houses and hearts
    unexplainable incomprehensible JOY that is Strength, FILL OH GOD!
    Your wonderful NAME HEAL and LIFT NOW , IF YOU GOD DONT HELP WHO WILL? YOU ALONE ARE TRUE BEAUTY, RIP OPEN THE SKY AND SHINE,
    in YOUR PRESENCE JOY IS A CROWN ON TIM, MAY IT BE ON MIKI NOW .

    Thank you Tim, Love you,
    Dave Z

    Dave Z — April 21, 2005 @ 8:03 pm

  268. My head is filled with a thick haze today. I close my eyes and can see and hear Tim speaking. It was Sunday’s gathering, when I got to know Tim. He spoke to us all, and I connected with very word. I totally understood where he was coming from, I GOT IT !! I felt a renewed spirit, this relief as he worked it out. Tim helped me tackle a HUGE obstacle, and we never met. I was just a face in the crowd, a new face but I’m sure if given more time, we could have been friends. I’ll settle for eternity, brother. See you shortly.

    Brooke — April 21, 2005 @ 7:13 pm

  269. I will always remember Tim as a very rare combination of mentor, artist, technical know-how, coach, and friend. The way he lived his life truly shared Christ’s love with others, beyond mere words. He walked the talk.

    About this time last week I was getting ready to go to Tim’s home for dinner with Dan and Jason. I can still hear his voice. As we were finishing our meal, Gavin and Miki came home from the LA Zoo. We viewed the video that Miki had made of Gavin’s adventures that day. Tim would ask Gavin about the animals. Gavin would excitedly describe the animal on the video. (Miki would have to sometimes “translate” what Gavin had just said.) It warmed my heart to see the three of them so in sync with each other. Hard to believe that a week later Tim would be gone.

    He always seemed to have time to serve others. Sure he was a busy guy, but he always seemed to have the time for me. He was well informed. I respected his opinions. He was an all-around nice guy. I don’t think I told him those things often enough. I guess I figured I would have more time in the future to do so.

    When I go to the Bridge this Sunday, I’ll walk up the stairs to the media Tree House. I’ll turn the corner and expect him to be sitting there in a chair working on his laptop as usual. But he won’t be there … and that’s when it will hit me. The permanance of his absence.

    Lord God, please come along side Miki and Gavin, and their extended family. Give them courage and strength. Give us direction to know how we can help them in any way possible. Give Tim a big hug for me, and tell him that I love him dearly.

    Dave D — April 21, 2005 @ 6:59 pm

  270. In that deepest, darkest time, when the world has seen fit to shit all over you, and your Bible is nowhere to be found, could you find God? Paul did (and he never knew Jesus). Martin Luther did (he never had a new testament). I have a huge desire to implant the words of scripture into my heart, but I think now, I have an even greater desire to cling to the spirit of God in my midst. - Tim Garrety

    JaredB — April 21, 2005 @ 5:22 pm

  271. When God is impatient.

    Each time a young man dies I hear people say that he is happy up with Jesus in Heaven. I say amen and I know that Tim is up there right now with the God that he served so well. But still the thoughts go through my head… Why Tim? Why now? Why God? He was good, doesn’t that count for something? Miki? Gavin? Surely you can’t be serious God.

    Then the familiar phrase pops into my head, “God uses everything for his own purpose and we may never know until we are up there in heaven.” The phrase provides no comfort for the pain.

    I hear Tim’s laugh in my head. I have heard it since I found out. I see him playing with Gavin. I remember him speaking fondly of his wife. Oh God, why Miki? Why Gavin? Why Tim? Why now?

    I know that many people will remember Tim for what he did for the Bridge. We will speak endlessly about his dedication to the wonderful multimedia atmosphere that he created with his team of hard workers. But Tim was much more than just a useful worker bee. His service went beyond just the pretty pictures and film.

    Oh God, what about Greg. Tim and Greg appeared to be very much like Aaron and Moses. Tim did not speak as often as so do (like me), but when he spoke, he had something to say that sounded like God had helped him with the phrasing. I picture Greg without Tim as being like an Olympic swimmer without water or like a boat with a motor and gas, but without oars to steer. (I know that God will steer Greg, but…) Why God? Why Tim? Why Now?

    I will remember Tim not because of what he did, but for who he is in my mind. I will remember his smile, his laugh, and a friend. But why God? Why now?

    I think that God sometimes gets impatient. Tim is lucky to be with Jesus. But it just plain stinks for the rest of us. Maybe I’m impatient.

    David Lehr — April 21, 2005 @ 5:16 pm

  272. Here is the direct link to the VCStar (Haloscan) comments Dan mentioned above, so you don’t have to register to see them.

    JaredB — April 21, 2005 @ 5:09 pm

  273. Two things I forgot to mention:

    1. There are a lot of comments here. (If you do not have a registration email go here first)

    2. To honor Tim, I took the blog theme that he created for his blog and made it our own here at theBblogs. I do not know for how long but I think it’s very suitable that we honor him here under his vision and imagination.

    Dan — April 21, 2005 @ 4:39 pm

  274. Heavy tears. outbursts of grief. Miki, Gavin, Frank & Lynn–we love you so dearly. Our prayers ring out for you…

    jared — April 21, 2005 @ 4:38 pm

  275. Eyes toward God. Always. We love you and the void is immeasurable. We will miss you.

    Martha — April 21, 2005 @ 11:34 am

  276. http://jonreid.blogs.com/oneanother/2005/04/goodbye_tim.html

    Jon — April 21, 2005 @ 11:22 am

  277. I am at a difficult point right now. I clearly do not know what to say or do. My future is changed; I dig so deep to find every moment that I spent with Tim so I can archive it and never forget my mentor.
    What huge shoes he left behind. I cry because I think of everything he had did for the Bridge, SkateStreet and most importantly his family and friends.
    Those shoes, who will ever take responsibility for what he has left behind?

    Clearly not one man alone…

    Feeling as though I am one of those men I sit here frustrated with a clear message.

    Frustrated; my mentor has passed, and I only half full of his teaching. Oh so frustrated because he never taught me the secret.

    The clear message is from him; he reminds me of those lessons he did get to share. Those teachings of planning, commitment, imagery, imagination, expression, integrity, determination but not the secret.

    That secret, that tool he used, that no one knew about; time. Think about it Tim always had time, ALWAYS. Did he ever not have time for you, the bridge, SkateStreet, and family? No wonder he liked coffee so much. He touched so many people. And when I say touched I mean molded/infected. I for one owe everything to him. If he didn’t guide me through media at the Bridge I would not have the skills I have today, nor the job. I owe so much to that man, how can I ever repay him now?

    We all know Tim was a great man and friend to many, he accomplished a lot but I truly believe his life works were not done. Yesterday a tragedy occurred collapsing the future as I saw it.

    I cry.

    I am honored to be Tim’s friend. And I thank God I ruined his computer last week. Because without that we would have not text messaged or talked as much as we had this past week. Last night he called me at 6:37 pm and we talked [PAUSE] soon after, shortly before 7 p.m. the accident occurred. That conversation will always mean so much to me [pause] not because of the content but the fact I had just one little piece of him before he left. That piece of him being happy. [crying] I wish I could remember if I said I love you man, my heart says I did but my memory says not. [crying]

    God please don’t ever let me forget that conversation nor the feeling we had.

    Dan — April 21, 2005 @ 11:15 am